I’ve long thought that Cops is basically just ‘let’s arrest poor people’ porn, so I’m not sad to see that go.

Someone I know who insists he ‘never watches movies’ because he thinks they give people bad ideas watches a lot of Spike TV. I gave up trying to rationalize that one in my head a long time ago.

You could just have a seat and wait for Chris Hansen to make a comeback.

Probably out laughing at poor people they were about to arrest.

I saw Rob Zombie open for Godsmack, and in my opinion, Rob blew them right the fuck off the stage. He played every song everyone wanted to hear, and his band sounded fucking incredible. Godsmack looked and sounded like a bunch of guys who really wanted to be Metallica. Not impressed.

David Cronenberg writes for Jalopnik?

Sure, make up some more shit about Willie Mays of all people to support this weird-ass hill you’re choosing to die on because you’re too dumb (and probably too young) to know better and/or realize how stupid it sounds. Tell us all more about this precious all-encompassing morality test of yours that absolutely…

lol wtf is cable

THE Columbia, Missouri?!

I remember thinking the same thing when I saw it, but I don’t remember any details. Something about car hotels just being garages sticks in my mind.

But what about all the gas stations, maaaaan?

Dixar is from the alternate reality where everyone who works at Pixar is a dick.

Sir, this is an Ice Cube set.

So bitter about it.

But AV Club’s gatekeeping tells me differently!

Coffee burns the fuck out of my stomach, so I switched to green tea. Which, of course, is a magical substance.

Sure, double down. Why not.

LINO - Lollapalooza In Name Only

Cool, huh? Thanks, Reddit.

Get the face shield first.