Also this is a face only a mother...f#cker could love

i wouldn’t really be aware of a ham sandwich or anything else because i’d just be staring longingly at her.

If Rihanna is in front of me, I’m not looking at any sandwich! There could be a table of real ham sandwiches with the fanciest bread and mustard you can get... I’m still not seeing them!

Lambert had fallen in with a “bad crowd.”

If it was 13 months AND every victim could come by once a week and punch him square in the teeth, I might be okay with the sentence... but otherwise, it’s a goddamn joke.

Lambert and Fournier co-founded Students for Trump in 2016 while undergraduate students in North Carolina. They also decided around the same time to become budding scam artists

This is it. She even said right there, she’s still standing up for defeating socialism. That means she’s still trying to take away your healthcare, your medicare, your social security, and basically everything that makes this country worth living in.

Time to Ross Perot the fuck out of coming elections.

also, not the topic, but call center description is apt. anyone who wants to do that should be given the respect we give any other person who works in a hellish environment.

If you want to be equal parts entertained and infuriated, check out his Police Raids episode. Dude does his homework.

I had the misfortune of growing up in Utah, and the only surprising thing about that clip was that he managed not to say anything worse.

John Oliver is a national treasure.  Yes, we have stolen him from the UK and he is ours.  

Came here to say exactly this! I was at first thinking I heard him wrong, then I was like: oh. Hearing him talk about Black hair like he has some, coming out in his Brit accented uber-white and bespectacled face was GOLD.

Rregular viewers know it’s not a surprise at all that he got it right. He tends to get it right, whether or not the topic impacts his life.

Utah Senator Derrin Owens, wishing to appear as anti-racist as possible, tells the three black women on the call “You people are beautiful” and then brags about taking secret photos of black children in the supermarket checkout line.

Bringing in the Leslie Jones, Craig Robinson, and Uzo Aduba at the end to tell you to just use Google was friggin great.

Every single time a politician mentions small business, I really just want to ask them to name the last five things they bought from one. Because most of the time, they probably cant

I hate to say it after such a loathsome outburst, but given her age, you have to ask if she’s always been like that (as we all know, such folk are out there) or something that compromises mental function has occurred. Aging is a highly individual thing in its effects, their causes, and the timing and rate of its…

Can I quote myself? I love to quote myself!

Trump’s website is such a great example of what he means by “free speech”. No one is speaking there except him, it’s just a blog with links that allow you to amplify his speech by sharing it to Facebook or Twitter. That’s all that he cares about. It’s also very Trumpy in the shitty quality and the focus on purchasing…