I want to like those so badly, but the first generation looks like a) the whole front end is a separate piece, like a truck bed, and b) it rear-ended somebody and bent the frame, so now the front end and rear end meet at an angle at the firewall.  

This could be drastically improved with a can of red paint. Cover all the glass aft of the B-pillars except for the itty bitty vertical rear window (while adding a rear camera), and paint the black headlamp housings, too. It’d be better if the headlamps were replaced with big single unit and the housing were smoothed…

Forget whatever is inside. I will never choose an E-Series for anything (sometimes U-Haul chooses for you, though) after years with my family’s E-150. The throttle goes from 0-100% in an eighth of an inch, after you get past twenty pounds of preload on the go pedal. The suspension is rock hard and the body is as rigid…

Wasn’t that the basic idea behind the VW BlueSport concept?  Just use the Corolla as the platform donor instead of the Golf.

If it’s good enough to get the taste of a stranger’s dick out of your mouth, hell yeah I want some prostitute toothpaste.  It’s also a good portmanteau.  Prostitoothpaste!

A Hellcat would be a nice change in the Pacifica, from its usual Hellspawn.

“...a job you hate but still have because you need the health insurance...”

Don’t feed the troll. Adimentsuak might come back with less garbled grammar, but all you’ll really find out is what a piece of shit he is.

That reminds me of how GM killed off Saturn, then used the Outlook’s old panels for the GMC Acadia refresh. Maybe they got the idea from this stillborn Saabaru.

That was my first thought!

JFC, that is sexy

THIS. Boomers, go get all the Toyota Venzas you want. I don’t want one, but I respect your need for ride height.  It’s the right tool for the job.

SUVs have their headlights at my rearview mirror level, and due to their increasing popularity, they’re usually what’s behind me at a stop light. They also block my view more when I’m backing out of a parking spot due to a higher beltline and presence of a D-pillar. They always have the windows tinted, so I can’t see…

For me, the question whether or not ketchup belongs on a good burger. My answer is usually no. That said, use whatever tools you want to patch up a subpar burger. I usually go with ketchup on dry burgers, because a) it’s almost universally available, and b) mayonnaise weirds me out a bit (it’s fine if it’s already on…

Those vertical LED strips are such a cool feature... how do they keep fucking it up? Like, step one, make that strip the whole headlight like it was in the early concepts, and step 2, don’t connect it to the lower grille and make it look like a warthog tusk.  Nobody asked for albino Pumbaa.

They sayed doubleplusfuckyou to western Eurasia.

I wish, man.  This day would go by so much faster.  At least I have a mountain of booze to look forward to at the end of it.

Nancy never wanted the sword, but that didn’t stop her from quietly ratcheting back the catapult.

I’m confused. How do you replace alcohol with ethanol? Ethanol is alcohol. Did they replace an ethanol-water mixture with pure ethanol, or was there another type of alcohol involved here?

2006 to 2007 Subaru Legacy (especially sedan)