"You are aware that the whole purpose of lipstick is to send a message of sexual availability by mimicking the inflamed vaginal labia of a primate in estrous, aren't you?"

Or everyone who posts pictures of themselves drinking at a club or bar on Facebook. Isn't calling these people "fun" just "normalizing our unhealthy culture"?

I didn't know you could just rephrase your positions and expect people to believe they're something completely different!

"Listen everyone, I'm pro-gun rights, pro-exercise, and in favor of giving kids a reason to live a healthy, active lifestyle. That's why I'm unloading this semi-automatic into the playground. But…

That's horrifying.

What behavior? All the article said was.

The forced C-Section is horrible enough, but I'm just as concerned by the idea that social services can deem a parent unfit to care for their child simply because they have a medical condition. That's a horrifying precedent.

I wish. A patch that delivers a steady but diluted dose of righteous anger to wean me off it would be pretty sweet.

Oh, I hear you. I've been working hard to keep myself from hate commenting. It's an addiction. I do it till I'm sick, regret doing it, then do it again six months later. I'm thinking of going on the Hate Patch.

I think people have noticed that a lot of buildings are phallic.

I don't think I'd describe his paintings as "driven." They seem to be pretty consistent with the work of a hobbyist. Not that there's anything wrong with being a hobbyist.

Gotta say though, all those people who were comparing Bush to Hitler back when he was in office were wrong, Hitler had a MUCH better grasp of light…

"Once a female Chavril has pair-bonded with a male, she will be at his side during all daylight hours. When he pauses to take in water, she will guard his flank with her strong, sharp antlers until his guard is no longer dropped. In return, when she becomes heavy with child and retreats into her pregnancy burrow he…

I seriously don't see what's wrong with that. Yeah, people go out to dinner on dates a lot, but it's not like eating dinner is an inherently sexual act. Unless you have so little trust between your friends that you're afraid to leave them alone with your boyfriend for fear that any unchaperoned contact will turn into…

"Is this like how Chavril don't drink when they're apart because that's the only way to stay faithful to each other?"

True. However—have you considered the possibility that Jon Stewart is lactose intolerant because cheese always secretly knew he would one day disparage that most noble method of cheese conveyance, the deep dish pizza? #tellthetruthstewart

I love Jon Stewart, but the man can't even digest dairy. Why should we trust him to tell us about pizza?

Aww! It's okay, everyone is totally fucked up and insecure!

Haha, I can totally empathize. It may not be healthy, but knowing it isn't healthy doesn't mean it goes away.

I think a lot of people have similar problems apologizing and admitting guilt. I know I do. It taps in to the insecurities a lot of us have. Still, being able to muscle past that, acknowledge when you're wrong and apologize for it is one of the basic markers of adulthood in my opinion.

The impression I got was that the intent was for one of the girls to get him started and for the other to finish the job. Maybe I'm a prude after all but I really don't see how this improves the experience for anyone.

To be fair the purpose of most cleanses seems to be to induce massive amounts of diarrhea. That poop is mostly toxins, right?