I like when they still flat-out lie at the end, after having seen the footage of themselves. "I feel I shouldn't be fired, because I did nothing wrong!"

I knew there was a reason I never want to order from one of those. Canned mushrooms! The horror!

I am loving all these stories, and this might be my favorite!

Recipe: Steak the horse...

That was such a brilliant moment. High-school mean-girl head games, encapsulated. Who'd have thought thanking someone for a compliment was a trap? Other than the person setting said trap, that is...

And especially don't tell him about garlic-cilantro naan. Or onion naan. I will eat all the naan!

People who are gluten free because it's trendy are total dicks, though.

GET A REAL HAT YOU HIPPIE

I've never been to a Waffle House. The hash brown options look AMAZING. I would also get them peppered and capped!

That does seem like a real problem with it.

I can't either. I have autoimmune problems, and since no one knows what causes them, they don't take any chances.

Ditto. And if we had Internet then, she would've taken away my access AT LEAST for the duration of the grounding.

I AM a basic white chick, and I can't tell one of them from the others either.

Well really, would anyone expect anything else of Mariah Carey?

I hear ya. I don't wanna do it either! I just wanna look at it.

This calls for its own Instagram account!

Oh, gross.

Hah, yeah. Especially if all they have is regular bed pillows.

The hell are you doing using your phone when you're outside in a storm?