True story: the year he hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner I was at the Hilton for another meeting and rushing to get out before they locked down for Secret Service sweep. I bumrushed an elevator and threw myself between the doors as they were closing. Kimmel was on it with a bunch of his production folks…

I want to be excited for the next Fantastic Beast but every bit of news about Johnny Depp makes me so damn anxious for that franchise. Why did you do this to us, JK?

I’m a father of all daughters. I shake my head and wonder how I could have coped with a boy.

That’s the thing. Somewhere along the line people got confused as to what “understand” actually means. They think if you don’t agree with someone or feel obligated not to criticize them, the issue is that you don’t “understand” because you’re not “listening.”

Yup. I have a friend who thought this way all through her 20s but never considered that her parents paying for her schooling and rent in NYC that whole time would be chipping away at that money considerably. It probably still hasn’t occurred to her that her four siblings are also in their parent’s will.

This is a lot of my friends. I have a few friends who know they’re going to get a nice windfall when their parents die and are less concerned about saving money or pursuing a financially lucrative, stable career path because of it.

I feel like driving the car into the end of its life is a weird inherited trait. I have friends who could have a brand spankin’ new car every two years if they wanted. But their parents drove their cars into the ground, and they too will drive their subaru until its sides are rusting inward.

like, this was my rent, which I just spent on this thing that’s not happening.

Sadly, he’s more likely to be nestled even further into the bosom of apoplectic MRAs and red pillers. He’s going to be their champion martyr and figurehead now that he’s been so badly mistreated by his feminazi corrupted wife.

At this point it’s the only steady employment she has.

Someone needs to tell the Spellings about the miracle of birth control.

YEP! This guy is a pro. Absolutely vile calculated move by someone not sober enough to be safe on the road. You’d think, with such critical thinking skills, he’d not drink and drive in the first place.

You could send the two moppets to talk with him, with a knife, or take out his tongue, with a knife; with a bigger knife.

I remember reading how back before they discovered how women’s reproductive systems worked that people thought that there were tiny humans in men’s sperm and that they only needed a warm place to grow. So women were blamed if they didn’t get pregnant. But women were also blamed if they gave birth to girls instead of…

That’s what you get for marrying a super villain. Well, a level 4 super villain.

My friend had to have her sons through IVF. Initially her doctor only put her on infertility treatments and they couldn’t figure out why things were not progressing better since she was ovulating just fine. Over a year later they finally had her husband tested. He virtually makes no viable sperm. Though she did…

I was going to make a snarky comment about there being unrealistic rates of infertility in men versus women statistically but I did a quick Google search about that and, well, just look at how the results are listed.

That dude clearly does not have a wife, much less a feminist one.

Yeah, that sounds weirdly made-up to me.

“It’s a rape fantasy”? God knows sexualizing rape is a depressingly common trope, but I’m having troubling imagining how anyone could confuse the cold, clinical rapes in The Handmaid’s Tale with erotica.