I wasn’t even the ‘pretty’ one, I was just the ‘photogenic’ one. My family would say it in awe (because I am photogenic as fuck, let's just be honest) but also like it was horrible because people would feel tricked in reality.

I think I must come from a mean family because we often commented on each other’s appearance (bad haircuts, weight gain or loss, ugly outfits, etc) and it was usually pretty jokey.

I adore Bob’s Burgers. It’s hilarious and charming. I think the Belchers are the most likable and well developed family I’ve seen in a long time and by far the best I’ve ever seen in a cartoon comedy. It’s never dirty or crass (and I love dirty and crass, I have no fucking problem with it) and totally appropriate for…

My husband went wedding nuts and invited NINE groomsmen...not even people he was particularly close to, he was just so excited and kept asking his friends/coworkers/family to be in the wedding.

Thanks. I wasn’t sure if my post seemed to support that kind of behavior and I wasn’t sure if I should add a disclaimer. Sometimes I’ll make a joke or retell a story and because it’s via text (and without tone or body language) it can seem mean or offensive.

I hope my sarcasm came across about how inappropriate I thought the strangers comments were?

No clue. I suspect they meant that the freckles were sparse and located in one general region (bridge of nose and cheeks) and light colored?

I have light freckles across the bridge of my nose and tops of my cheeks. I never minded them (necessarily) but I was always a little envious of creamy/pale unmarked peaches and cream complexions.

I had a similar experience a few years ago and loved it. I’ve wanted to do it again because my brow furrowing came back (I don’t have resting bitch face,I have resting homicidal fury face) but always forget and spend my extra cash in something useful like food or cozy boots.

Paul Newman?

I thought ‘bonus’ sounded kind of sweet. I can’t imagine anything wrong with someone loving my child and considering them a ‘gift’ and happy addition to their marriage.

I have a horrible family member who happens to be an ethics professor. When I tell stories about things he’s done people think I’m joking, he’s like a cartoon villain.

I have two close friends with kids. One is a ‘super mom’ primary breadwinner, primary caretaker, homeschooled her oldest, etc. I haven’t really seen her in four years and we only talk when she calls (every few months). She asked why I don’t call anymore and I explained that I knew she was busy and that I didn’t want…

Celebrated her 20th birthday in 1985? Is 60 now? Is that right? That doesn't seem right...

I found hypnotic poison when I was 15 and it’s the only perfume I go back to. I always get compliments and on me it smells like a sexy not too sweet creamy dessert, on my friend it smells exotic and sensual. It’s a cool perfume, I don’t care what anyone says.

Now that I have proper potato sustenance, I will. It was getting pretty scary and hangry there for a minute but my will to eat junk food turns me into an adorable John Nash.

When I was in high school I saw a nurse vault over a McDonalds counter and administer aid to a worker that had either had a stroke or seizure (I was scared and I’m not sure what causes you to pass out and wet yourself?). It was insane seeing a five foot nothing older woman fly over a chest high countertop like it was…

I'm 32 and I just made a lasso out of a belt to drag a bag of chips closer to me because I didn't want to mess up my snuggie placement...people have let me buy a house and help decide if someone goes to jail.

I always had my face pressed into a book...my slouch is legendary. The posture seemed to go with the idea that her character was an avid reader.

Many times my mom would find me asleep on the ground because (at some point during the night) I would feel so badly for my dolls that I would tuck each one into bed leaving no room for me.