The NCAA is determined to never pay anyone who was ever an athlete under any circumstances.

I recognize these words as being English but their order leaves me confused.

Oh. Dammit. You’re right. Well ... she’s the problem then.

... no. First time, he “punched and kicked HER” this time it was *just* the car. That’s a big improvement for an athlete.

Did Krusty bet against her too?

I bet you’re fun at parties.

Was the previous record 56?

Depending on the department, if he’d said, “It’s because I’m black” it would’ve flown.

This time, he didn’t kick her though. Baby steps.

Criminally under appreciated.

Stick to ... I don’t know.

My asshole was Michael Jordan.

Whatever it means, I’m pretty sure I - a white guy - should never use it.

He was also fined for being, “Horribly stereotypical.”

His father wept because he realized his kid’s best chance at a Cup is on NY’s red headed step child team and not with any team in Canada.

Can confirm. Had sex with her last week and blew a big presentation to the board the next day. Would advise all others to take heed.

Then, they outlawed dancing.

I guess he should ... stick to sports.

When it turns out that having 12 guys on a team, each 7 feet tall, is the unstoppable force in basketball, you guys sure will feel silly. They did math to figure this out. Duh.

The preferred nomenclature is “fire water.”