Do you want to watch me pitch a great game? Or sock a few dingers??

Jesus, just write down the rules to this game already

Also, fractional leads are better than whole number leads. Best of all are transcendental leads such as pi, because when you have a pi lead, the other team can’t tie the game, because when they attempt to score pi runs, they only get halfway around the bases.

I feel like you could’ve helped progress the process of not tying everything Osaka does back to that moment by not using the entire final paragraph of this article to tie Osaka’s actions in this unrelated match that didn’t even feature Williams back to that moment.

Serena Williams is an asshole. Why is that so hard to accept? It’s ok to be an asshole! It’s also ok to see an asshole being an asshole and say, “What an asshole!” When the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, did we yell, “BOY, EVEN IN VICTORY THAT ADOLF HITLER SURE IS FLINTY”?! Hell no! We shook pineapples at the sky and…

It is what would generate maximum outrage, but it's also LITERALLY WHAT THE CHARGE IS, so it's pretty disingenuous to call them disingenuous for reporting the literal facts.

while Tevin and her older sister grew up in Cleveland with their great aunt.

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

Are pick-off attempts really that big an issue, though? Sure, the home crowd boos when a visiting pitcher throws over a few times, but is that really adding significantly to the total average game time, or standing between the sport and greater appeal to The Youth of Today(TM)? And what happens to keep a baserunner…

Does anyone on this thread know how many games there are in an NFL season?

Perfect, and he already owns property there.

That, no verifiable chewing, plus I found the actual box of pizza nearby, pepperoni and sausage, with about half a pie left. Abandoned. Outside. Rested on a Jersey barrier.

His social media advisor was looking over his shoulder saying “Remember: The Petty-Dumbass-thing always works on Twitter”

Oh, the notariety!

He literally doesn’t know the meaning.

I mean, his use doesn’t even really fit the erroneous colloquial definition. (Which, by the way, we may as well just deem acceptable because no one cares what nerds think and language evolves.)

It’s really the Earl Morrall of the story.

I think you see it in pretty much any sport. Look at how Argentinians blame Messi for their national team not being more successful. Happens in club soccer in Europe a lot too. And to a lesser extent, recall Jacoby Ellsbery being called a “traitor” for signing with the Yanks after being on the Red Sox or Jason Heyward…

This is precisely why Eisenhower warned us about the Notary-Industrial Complex. 

I thought this guy was all about avoiding nightshades?