New 5 blade grill with moisturizing strip just leaked...

As an Akron Alumni I take great offense to this headline. All Akron Zips football games are meaningless.

Why is Serena in this list?

His fuck-up was not in not hustling, because do you know who else doesn’t run at full speed on every single play, every single sharp grounder to second, every can-of-corn pop-up to short center? Every major leaguer ever.

The Wikipedia entry on his death is gold: “West Yorkshire Coroner David Hinchliff told Heselden’s family: “I think it’s probable — I think typical of Jimi and the type of man he was — he held back and waited as an act of courtesy to allow Mr Christie (a dog walker) more room. In so doing, he’s attempted to reverse the…

or written one

I’m a huge fan of the C.S. Lewis Chronicles of Nigeria series 

I think Malcolm Gladwell would argue that since there are birds in Nigeria, Larry Bird is actually on the Nigerian team.

This isn’t a problem for real men because real men shit standing up. Sitting is for girls.

<gently> He was actually able to stop dunking just fine. The image in the header is just a looping clip - it’s showing the same moment over and over, not actually condemning him to repeat his actions for all eternity. I hope this sets your mind at ease.

What the fuck is up with the use of “normie” as a descriptor? This is the second article in as many days that I’ve seen it, and it reminds me a lot of some of the shittier parts of chanspeak.

The documentary about the second half of his career will just be called Poo.

This is the kind of thing that’s destroying American values. It’s foot ball. If you’re on the field, brother I’m going to level you. Don’t suit up for some business meeting or some discussion in a hipster coffee shop. We are at war. Long snapper, short snapper, whipper snapper, you’re fair game. There was a time when…

Mitchell Trubisky’s Hail Mary Pass To Kevin White Comes Up Painstakingly Short

St Elmo’s cocktail sauce and Three Floyd’s are both pretty good, too.

I started saying NONONONONO over and over, trying to push it past my lips, but in the dream I couldn’t quite do it.

Sure, but what do they call the front half?

If that barkeep didn’t yell “WHY THE LONG FACE?” what are we even doing anymore?

I want my boys coddled.

The most disturbing thing about this is he thinks the creation of Adam and Eve were “the beginning of time.”