Fair warning: At some point early this season Ingram and LeBron are going to combine for 50+ in a win over the Warriors or the Rockets and I am going to become absolutely insufferable for months. I’m talking replies that are just the banners in Staples Center, gifs of Jack laughing courtside, assertions that Magic was…

Things ruined with bacon:

Browns fan. I don’t know how to express my reaction to this game other than to say I can’t believe that I can’t believe it. Of course we found yet another way to lose a football game.

Is that fucking JJ Watt being all classy and congratulating him? Damn it, I want to hate that nice hard-working philanthropist so much, but he makes it impossible.  

Krieger would like a word with the designers.

“After thorough analysis from accounting concluding we will not lose one goddamn cent by doing this, we have decided in this isolated situation to do what our paying customers want, but don’t get used to it.”

“...no one will need to remember photos of Jeremy Clarkson looking distracted...” 

Ugh... he really isn’t. He is friends with one cop because he knows he can trust her and the other cop he most interacts with is depicted as being genuinely heroic. Perhaps you should play the game rather then just regurgitating tired hot takes that require a VERY selective take of the game to make work in the first…

I’m sure it must be frustrating to get away from the Bulls, only to have the Bulls come to you.  

I know this is a weird and unpopular concept for the people of this site, but most cops are just commoners who want to help their community. Definitely take a minute to breathe and compose yourself before responding.

A third option is that Williams was intentionally ratcheting up the situation in a fruitless attempt to heighten her own level of play and intensity, and to intimidate her young opponent, because those things have worked in the past. They didn’t work yesterday.

We were close enough to see the players, and when I saw Tom Brady walk by on the field, I booed him.

This is, beat for beat, a reimagining  of The Fellowship of the Ring except for the fact that Samwise managed to find honey mustard. 

I shop at Whole Foods.
I buy organic everything.
I buy in bulk.

Counterpoint: Uncrustables are fine.

This is literally the worst car for a misanthrope. You wouldn’t be able to drive this thing 5 feet without 12 strangers walking up and asking you about your weird Miata. If you want people to leave you alone, buy a beige  Camry.

I’m old enough to remember when this was called Ghost Riding.

A Police Lineup

The sign about deaths on the road really kicks this image up a notch.