Look out! Someone might actually be reading my tweets! Better put a stop to that right now...

Better than the analog ninja is a beer ninja. What's that you ask? Let me tell you a story:

Skipping past why would you ever pay that much... why would you ever wear it with the stay-puft vest out?

How do you put pictures in your reply like that? I tried to do that several months ago for a joke that fell completely flat without graphic backup...

Yep - I was on a road trip by myself when I locked myself out of my car in downtown SF. I was in a 30 minute zone, it was the middle of the day, I was frantic - thankfully the hotel I was parked up against had a guy on the front desk that was bending over backward to help me. He let me run a search on his computer and…

But I don't live in every state! Can't you just read my mind and tell me my specific state, county, and city laws? GOD WHY IS THE INTERNET SO INCONVENIENT

The servers are probably swamped with requests right now. Wait an hour or 24 and you'll have better luck.

I guess I should really stop coming in naked and painted blue - really seems to put some people off...

IT'S NOT A TUMAH OH wait NorthernRoamer beat me to it

It made me miserable for another couple months, then went away, then came back four months later. Still pops up for a week or two every now and then.

WHAT'S THAT SONNY? HOW DID I CONQUER MY FEAR YOU SAY?

SO MANY TIMES. I had a doctor I went to with an earache. Made an appointment ahead of time, showed up, waited 35 minutes to see him. He spent less than five minutes in my presence, stuck a 'scope in my ear, and told me there was nothing wrong. That sharp pain every time I lay down? NOPE NOT A THING. Then he charged me…

Kind of nit-picky, but a link to the site/where you could buy this would be useful.

Stop! Stop! I want to get off this crazy train. Sure, I thought HDR was cool, and time-lapses, and I was even starting to wrap my head around hyper-lapses. But this... we've gone too far! This is madness.

Yeah, I had a friend ask me frankly and seriously what I pay a month for internet so he could figure out if he had the budget for internet and I had to throw my hands up. "It's a magic number! No, seriously, here's what I paid the past four months."

I realize everybody's already jumped on your back about this, but just some things to add:

The work week is longer than it used to be, despite everybody being more productive than any historical benchmark you care to claim.

ummm......... Patriot Act? Indefinite detention without a criminal charge? Authorization for drone strikes on US citizens? Illegal wiretapping and hacking? The over-the-top armament of our police forces? Just how much more free than the Chinese do you think you are?

I mean, I could be trite and say who watches the watchmen... but it doesn't matter what you're protecting, it matters that there's this document a bunch of moldy old moneyed landowners put together called the Constitution. And in that document there's a clause called the 4th Amendment. And in that clause every citizen…

Long term space exploration just took a huge step forward!

I'm kind of surprised Nike+ isn't a day one app for this - isn't it THE Apple health app? Essentially the only baked-in 3rd party app I can think of...