He forgot “NO COLLUSION!” AND “WALL!”

Right? Because I normally expect the outcome of a mass shooting to be overwhelmingly positive.

I am so tired of hearing the same cycle over and over again. It just makes me sick. We can’t politicize it! Nothing can be done! Send prayers! Victims are crisis actors brainwashed by the left!

Early reports not looking good? No shit, fuckface.

Penicillin.

I have a relative who thinks Trump is great. She also puts random words in capital letters in her tweets, goes off on unfounded harangues about brown people and probably doesn’t know the difference between HPV and HIV either. She also has several “Live Laugh Love” pillows throughout her house. It’s scary that there…

Is it me or I get a Norman Bates vibe from Pence?

Pence keeps asking about the difference between mother and motherfucker. Someone needs to tell him one is his wife and the other is his boss.

Haha. And yeah I’ve used the vape for awhile now. And don’t worry no one thinks that unless they’ve done it themselves. It’s like how a cheater thinks everyone cheats. So I wouldn’t stress.

Ah, the old Ford Pinto defense: Our automobiles do not explode when hit from behind, just the gas tank.

Their response is essentially, “our product doesn’t explode, but these two pieces of our product could have exploded.”

So I’ve tried to quit smoking by using a vape and it did kinda work but I feel like a douche using a vape.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Divorce proceedings are just an escalating series of dick moves.

It’s a dick move to keep anything family related, really. My ex boyfriend stole some family chairs and an ottoman. We shared an apartment, but I sure as heck never gifted them to him. People are terrible. Oh, and he beat me. So he was a real winner.

And you just know he’s gonna auction it off.

It’s really such a dick move to keep someone’s dead dad’s guitar, I honestly can’t believe it.

WHAT THE FUCK!!! I’m really upset about Kurt’s guitar.

I don’t drink too much either

OK, but this is a plotline straight out of Orange is the New Black, right?