omg I googled and this

#liveyourbestlife

Yesterday I ate a piece of halloumi that had fallen between the grill bars I don't know how long ago. It was a new low, even for me.

MAIL KIMP.

Did you look at the linked article? Goop and Shailene Woodley are regular customers of hers apparently. Color me shocked.

And like...there was very little protein among all the weird shit she mostly just drank. The zucchini noodle meal sounded like a perfectly reasonable and normal vegan meal, but all that other crap she fermented and mixed together and spiked with other weird crap...no.

it was troubling to read. someone need to do a welfare check on this chick because it sounds like she is trying to starve herself to death.

Nonsense. If she had one or two food products I had never heard of, then I would look them up and learn. But someone whose entire daily diet consists of ‘stuff no one has heard of’ served in copper cups is trying hard to compose a diet solely of things no one has ever heard of. And that’s pretty mockable. I honestly…

I used to make dandelion stew and steal spices from my moms kitchen.

Note: Dandelion water does not taste any better with celery salt in it.

This article is what you (well, ha ha not you, but everyone else) calls “tongue in cheek”.

The fact that this bitch gets anything done before her kid wakes up makes me call bullshit.

I mean...good for her if this is working for her. But it seems pretty freaking disordered to me. I mean...none of this stuff is delicious, maybe with the exception of the zucchini noodles.

That’s why I make sure I’m awake by 11:00 AM. It’s really that 30 minutes of peace and quiet that makes being a morning person so rewarding.

“I usually wake up at 6:30am,”

Also wears a size 11 shoe. There's NO WAY he could be cool with that.

I bet 5'7" is the max height because any taller and they might be taller than one guy there. And we all know that women taller than men are monsters.

Paris Hilton?!?!?! And......stop.

To be fair, he posted pretty much the same kind of requirements for male DJs:

“Some of my favorite DJs are female!...including this chick whose name I don’t even know.”