If you’ve never been to house party in New Orleans in February, cut a piece of cake and found A FUCKING BABY FIGURINE on your fork, you have missed out on some seriously freaky shit.

I love King Cake Baby so damn much.

I just think it is cool that Elijah Wood has found some work after Lord Of The Rings.

I was going to joke about how this is just Omer Asik in costume, but King Cake Baby is much faster than he is.

As somebody that has lived in both New Orleans and Mobile - the capital and birthplace of Mardi Gras - and eaten their weight in King Cakes, I am shocked I’ve never seen this atrocity before. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT AND WHY DOES IT EXIST?

I am not entirely unconvinced of the notion that there’s mescaline in New Orleans’ drinking water.

I’m sorry but I have no interest in whatever Jada Pinkett Smith has to say about the subject (no matter how accidentally astute it is). I find her sudden interest in diversity suspect.

Anyway, this is a good reminder that as much as fans may hate rival teams and players, the players themselves almost never do.

“This might be my last rodeo. So it sure has been a pleasure.”

BA English Literature magna cum laude, Harvard College 1971 and after all this time, the only value you’ve gotten out of it is bragging about it on Gawker in 2016.

And yet, no stars.

Eh not the mountain you want to die on my friend.

I think maybe we’re a groundhog’s day situation. I’m going to grab a toaster and get in the tub to test out the theory.

my liver can’t take it anymore

Everyone’s a critic these days.

Magnifying mirror?

I cannot believe the Clinique DDML is up there! That stuff is known—even within the beauty industry—to be useless. It’s a total nostalgia buy (“my grandma gave it to me,” or “I used to steal the samples from my mom’s gift with purchase”—believe me, that’s exactly what Clinique depends on to keep this subpar product…

I cannot believe the Clinique DDML is up there! That stuff is known—even within the beauty industry—to be useless.…

Lol what? literally all 4 of those are greasy, stinky garbage (in my experience and opinion, naturally). I’ve tried all of them and they all slid around my face and made me break out. Clinique actually made little red bumps pop up all over my face! The Clinique one I grant you could have been an allergy but there’s no…

Lol what? literally all 4 of those are greasy, stinky garbage (in my experience and opinion, naturally). I’ve tried…

None of the above. That Neutrogena one left my skin feeling dry and scaly, though maybe it was related to my devolving back into a reptile.

None of the above. That Neutrogena one left my skin feeling dry and scaly, though maybe it was related to my…

I, too, hope to have pedal-soft skin one day... *siiiiigh*

I, too, hope to have pedal-soft skin one day... *siiiiigh*