My first Christmas in my 30 years that I didn't make it home for. Drinking cocktails with a friend from another country who can't make it home either.

By the time I was in kindergarten I had already found out from a friend who had deduced it on his own, which my parents confirmed but maintained God was real, despite my skepticism. I remember in class some kid was spilling the beans and afterwards I was making the rounds reassuring the most shocked looking kids that…

Because this dummy seems fixated on it, a person can survive for several minutes in space and come out just fine. You don't explode like on Total Recall, that is a myth. Flying around in space with the mask for a few seconds, Starlord risks bruising and sun burns.

Can I guess it?

The one time I tried this (genders reversed though) I donked my girlfriends head on the ceiling and it ruined everything. Sex helmets could have prevented this.

I think we are still laughing. I don't think anyone but Sony was afraid of the terror threats, and the reveal that North Korea was behind it made it even more of a joke. The mysterious "Guardians of Peace" was more intimidating than North Korea itself.

Maybe this is a sinister trick played by the twin, and the husband thought he was with his wife? I'm going to believe this because I'm a big fan of sinister tricks.

Doing pretty well for a guy who made his fortune stealing cars and then making a product to prevent other people from stealing cars.

Going to be hard to use the gun with those gardening gloves.

Why the hell do they insist on giving some poor dude a fake beard? Just to show the technology exists to give shitty fake beards?

"You ever drink Baileys from a shoe?"

me too on all this. My own cousin does this with her 3.5 year old and I got to witness this at Thanksgiving. She and her husband never discipline the little monster either and I'm nearly positive he will murder them with scissors before he is ten. He is such a rotten entitled brat.

Shit.

Ha Ha! Karma's a bitch, buddy! I knew this guy would eventually get what was coming to him.

I'm impressed too.

This is the best thing that has ever been written about Thanksgiving, and I will be thankful for it, when its my turn to say what I am thankful for at Thanksgiving.

Boom.

Nothing is going to change because of this, don't worry.

Are you at Zeitgeist?