The Secret Wars event is almost over due to delays but Marvel jumped ahead to what comes after. I just finished the first issue of the All-New All-Different Avengers so I thought I’d report on the many changes to the Marvel universe.

Sam Wilson is back post Secret Wars as Captain America, and his comic is off to a great start. Much like Steve Rogers did in Civil War, Sam Wilson is finally showing his political colors in today’s political landscape, and it turns out he may be in conflict with his old (ha) partner Steve.

Hey everyone! I haven’t been around for a while, but here I am, hat in hand, begging for a poem recommendation to read at a wedding.

Today Rob Bricken had a fun post on io9 about some of the most useless spells in Dungeons and Dragons. Hilariously, the D&D nerds (I’m including myself here) rushed to the comments to argue why their favorite dumb spells are actually pretty amazing.

Skye has morphed from an insufferable literal (self aware?) Mary Sue and into Daisy Johnson, one of the most powerful SHIELD agents ever and finishing her transformation into a complete bad ass. I think most of us SHIELD watchers feel this was a well earned character progression.

The 2013 sleeper hit Man of Steel is one of the greatest movies of our generation, and stands far above the plethera of comic book films from recent years. Still, it doesn’t seem to get the recognition it deserves. Here are the five top reasons that this movie skull stomps every weak-fart movie Marvel has excreted to…

Marvel’s Secret Wars has been a lot of fun so far, and you can tell a lot of the writers are having a lot of fun with it too. In this week’s issue of Seige #2, Marvel gives a little wink to their friends/competitors at Image comics.

We’ve had a couple weeks of Secret Wars comics come out but so far I haven’t seen any discussions, so I thought I’d make a post with my takes of the titles I’ve read so far and hope all you readers can fill me in on what I’ve missed. Spoilers ahoy.

You answer the Minotaur’s riddle and you are sure you are correct. The Minotaur looks surprised, but he really shouldn’t be because you are so clever and pretty. He doesn’t know you though, if he did he probably wouldn’t have challenged you to a riddle contest.

You know the answer to the riddle, but you are so insulted by having to play this stupid game with the Minotaur that you draw your sword and leap into action. You are not anyone’s thing to toy with, you are a proud and independent Elf. The Minotaur pulls up his ax but not in time to stop you from plunging your sword…

You end up stepping in some poop on the way up the stairs. In the next room stands a hulking nude Minotaur, arms crossed with a giant ax by his side.

You throw your sausage rope to the dogs and they instantly turned their attention to it, gnawing and fighting over it. With the dogs distracted, you are easily able to pick them off one by one with your bow. Sure, its not the bravest thing you’ve ever done, but sometimes you don’t have options.

You use a stern but gentle voice and tell the dogs to settle down, but they are too angry and hungry to fall for your mind tricks. They are actually really insulted that you would try to pull something like that. Its pretty misogynistic if you think about it. Its just like those pick up artists that think they can…

You fight the guard dogs as best you can, but there are too many. As soon as you turn to one, another attacks. You are practically spinning in circles trying to keep them from attacking you from behind and dragging you to the floor. Eventually you get so dizzy you fall flat on your face and the hungry dogs pounce on…

You walk up the stairs out of the room with all the pigs, poop, and sausages into the room above it. You don’t get a good look at the room because instantly you are attacked by vicious guard dogs! There are six of them and they all look underfed, despite the abundance of food in this tower so far.

You walk up the stairs out of the room with all the pigs, poop, and sausages into the room above it. You don’t get a good look at the room because instantly you are attacked by vicious guard dogs! There are six of them and they all look underfed, despite the abundance of food in this tower so far.

You feel like you might need the sausages for something later so you reach up and pull down a rope of them. You wrap them around your body like a meat bandoleer, or maybe a Miss America pageant sash. In all your Elf years you never entered a competition like that, but if you had you would surely win because you are so…

The mysterious sausage tastes delicious going down, but because your stomach is not used to meat you almost immediately feel terrible. Your tummy is making growling noises and you are sure you are going to be sick.

Wow, the whole thing? That’s easily ten pounds of meat. Also, even though there are pigs in this room, you can’t be sure what type of meat it is. You are in the home of the Butcher Prince, the guy that steals children that are never seen again.

As an Elf you only eat tofu and kale smoothies, you don’t really want to eat the sausage.