If I had that gift card, I’d be at the makeup counter or hitting the accessories section. I’m a sucker for a beautiful scarf.

I have not! Heading over to Amazon to check it out...

Whiskey dick, amirite?

Praise A-lan!

GO ALAN!!!!

Good ol’ Alan—the wingman with wings.

Someone was hot to trot...good for you...

Learning so much about people recently. I’ve never had a problem keeping my penis hard, then again I don’t drink, but I never knew people would leave others because of it.

I read “Right after my divorce was final” and gave it a star.

Especially since Mark left Jezebel so we can’t hear stories about his boyfriend anymore :(

Robert also forgot he had a tongue and fingers, apparently... yeah, hey, Robert? If you whiskey your dick, you kinda owe that much, even if it ends up being a little one-sided, and not in your favour. Yuh did it to yourself, dude.

Just send him the link to your comment and let him read all the replies from random women drooling all over your description of him. By the time you arrive in town, he’ll be dying to live up to his superhero reputation. ;)

I would highly recommend that.

We must be

Yah GOD you’re such a boner killer I don’t think I’ll ever have a BONER AGAIM just reading your comment

Bitch YES! (I am hissing “bitch yes, get it girl!” & high-fiving my phone at my 12hr overnight job). We need to be friends.

Alan is an Alexander Skarrsgard dopleganger, of course. So happy for you, you go get it girl!

Good on Alan.

Wait, this is what I really should have said about the asswad posts:

The MRAs really suck, but I think it helps to think of them like a virus. The site can’t help getting infected occasionally, and we do build our own antibodies!