What kind of mental gymnastics does it take to get THERE?

To be fair, he did grow up in a family where contradiction and its many related forms was a non-thing.

There’s so much douche here, it makes me mad.

You and everyone who uses the Internet need a free OpenDNS account - it prevents threats from reaching your machine (antivirus software can’t help you until a virus actually reaches you). All you have to do is redirect your DNS...it's a basic safety tool that takes like 2 minutes to set up:

“We don’t expect fathers to perform fatherhood.”

“Like what? That I have rude friends who imply I’m fat?”

I announced one of my pregnancies (to everyone not a grandparent of that baby— including a sibling— or a resident of my town who had seen me recently) a few hours after that baby was safely delivered into the world. In the 15 minutes between announcing I was pregnant and posting a pic of new baby, I racked up a bunch…

“pithy”

My webcam is taped over too. You know why? Because I work from home a lot, in my sweats, rolled out of bed, and unshowered. And I don't trust myself not to accidentally turn on my webcam while on an all-company Webex. I honestly assumed that was why everyone does that!

Stunning, young AND an Afghani immigrant. Not that I'm implying the judge might easily be suspected of bullying someone whose beauty and youth anger him all the more for belonging to some likely Muslim whose family mooched off the American government when they came over here to take jobs from hard-working,…

Drunk History has taught me everything.

I truly wonder how Wolf landed in his current spot. In addition to having zero sense of humor, he’s also not terribly bright. Seriously. His turn on Celebrity Jeopardy was a revelation and the reason I now think of him as a “newsreader” vs a “journalist”...

I was expecting a very different picture. Thank you for not meeting my expectations.

I would go that route if I could afford it. I always feel like it will take 5-10 sessions to 86 any one area’s hair. Like if I want to laser an underarm, it will cost $500 but ten times... And by the time I’m hair-free, I’m $72,000 in debt. Do you happen to have a full-body tab you’re willing to share? Would love to…

Love the design, but must be spending too much time amongst rational people as I was unfamiliar with any number of those controversies. I’m sure the Facebook feed I avoid like the plague — populated by a ton of red-voting red-staters — could fill me in.

1. Ridiculously adorable!

Which instantly reminded me of this: http://www.hulu.com/watch/19589

You don’t happen to live in Rye, do you? And lived on the UWS until 2013? If yes, we have a preschool in common. If not, your daughter has a doppelgänger! Either way, very sweet-looking little person you made there...

I’ve had two babies: #1 no heartburn, born nearly bald, didn’t have enough hair for a haircut until well past second birthday. #2 terrible heartburn (and first time I’d ever had it in my life), born with lots of dark hair which fell out by two months and grew back blond.

What is with that name? I've never known a single Justin who wasn't a total bro. It's similar to the way all men named Todd are douchey and guys called Jason are tools.