I'm sorry but none of those are thongs? Sisqo, what the hell?

Ok, but you came in and commented on the write-up?

I've started narrating my life in tabloid voice. Today at work when I pulled my pants up and adjusted my shirt I at once "shielded my baby bump" and "flaunted my shrinking stomach."

Tourists are insane and require such high levels of assistance and supervision that I worry they may die if left unattended.

And is probably a righteous pain in the ass to wait on.

Yeah I usually give people a small carafe of soda if they're guzzling. It's no money out of my pocket and then you get to be the boss of your diabetes situation.

I typically know someone's industry when they order two drinks. I do it, you do it, smart people with a plan do it. A hat tip.

Girl, respect. Hosts and hostesses are under recognized. Y'all make shit run smoothly while basically fighting every single person who comes through in order to make it happen.

UUUGH! I had a large party come in a few weeks ago and the floor I was working on in my restaurant is quite small, more tavern ish. They all wanted to sit together- in my section- but order from the bar (this means I make no money off of them, while losing money because I can't fill the seats in my section now). I…

I dunno, I feel like if you're a nice person then I'm going to try my best to accommodate your tastes, however peculiar they may be. It's when you start being a dick that I begin to make fun.

So I work at a reputable, upscale restaurant in a major metropolitan area.

Also that girl's face in the beginning of the video is the exact face I would make given that strange and beautiful opportunity,

I feel like he's on the fast track to being Jack Nicholson and I love it.

I'm sure this was a factor. That being said, with the stakes so high (or low, I guess), I was really hoping for some fist to face contact. Someone needs to knock that permanently startled "did I shit my pants?" look off of Bieb's face.

That was a terrible punch.

He seems like he's forever going to be a Terrible High School Lay.

Bummer.

lol what? Bieber is certainly more famous, but he's also infinitely more terrible. Basically anyone has the cache to talk shit on that little shit.

Ugh FEEL you on rogue chin hair. I can't really with mustaches either. I want it all or I want nothing.

i can't figure out what is happening