They have rare photographs of camouflage weddings. Camo brides are like cougars, or sasquatch - it is very difficult to establish population estimates as they are very difficult to identify in their natural habitat.

Gimme some boob tape, i got this.

I don’t want to get married, but I’ll take these two. Just wrap them up, please.

Randy Boehning.

This must be accurate, because as an accountant, if I had been able to have my dream wedding, I would have rocked that fucking pantsuit at City Hall.

I still don’t wear my wedding ring either. It never seems to fit, as my sausage fingers swell and unswell all the time.

Jesus Christ, what a bunch of butts. I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids and I don’t really like kids but I do my best to nod along supportively when people talk about their kids or show me pictures or whatever because that is basic human courtesy and also I guess it’s really nice that people love their kids? It’s…

dildologists

Don't get me started on how she didn't have to shop for that in a food desert, and she actually has the leisure to make something tasty, unlike the underemployed who have NO fucking time to cook due to multiple jobs...

I’m reading the “On no, the Poors” and can see most of the commenters are looking at this from a US myopic funnel. It is not welfare. It is government rebates from our tax system that go to anyone who uses childcare or who has children. You can be on $100,000 a year and still get tax rebates for having children.…

What fraternity is this shirt from?

The deck is still stacked in favor of ME! BOW, BITCHES.

Another election cycle, another 18 months of listening to every minority group be told to sit down, shut up and VOTE. Don’t you know we’ll deal with civil rights issues AFTER the center-left mega-rich pro-business candidate gets elected? Like how President Obama preserved key civil rights legislation and achieved new…

How are we going to handle this without Jon Stewart? I am alone and afraid.

AND YET NO ONE WILL EVEN TEXT ME BACK

Yet her selfie crimes go unpunished

What I don’t get is the ‘women shouldn’t be forced to sell their bodies so they can live’ thing. Personally I feel like people shouldn’t have to break their bodies working mines so they can live, or have to deal with the shit that is Walmart so they can live, but I’m under no delusions that banning either job would…

Come to think of it, have we ever seen Joe and Ariana in the same place at the same time? What if.....