Too bad for Harry. Just missed the opportunity to get himself into a relationship with English royalty.

I had a book that included the sex, but explained it happened while people were asleep. Because apparently doing it on purpose and with consent is the bit we have to censor. It was horrifying.

I climbed everything, always, and never broke anything. Kids have awesome drop skills.

I grew up to be an accountant, not a murderer.

I have a 15 year love affair with the " Dubai Eye ". My Hubby told me 2 days ago that I need to stop doing my make up " like an angry middle schooler " ( he thought it was funny. I did not ). This weekend we are going to the Mall for a make over where he has promised to buy all of the winning look for making such a…

Yep. Many times at the park, moms would see my kid climbing a tree, 15-20 feet off the ground, and say, um, is he okay? Obviously he is fucking okay. He likes climbing trees. If he falls out and breaks his arm, then he is not okay.

Tiny town, just moved there, and we lived in one of those neighborhoods that sprang up after WWII, but across the street was a beautiful old brick house covered in vines. It made me think of Wuthering Heights. It was a quiet house. Someone would show up weekly to take care of the lawn and gardens, which is how I…

damn it! i totally forgot to mention the fact that i convinced myself I WAS A PROPHET when i was 7 or 8. like, wondered how i was going to tell my parents i was a messenger of god convinced. i have no legitimate reason to have thought this but it's my favorite thing about young kath.

I wrote a letter to Mrs. Claus saying I "thought she would like a letter because her husband gets so much mail, and I thought she might feel overlooked when she was still an important part of Christmas".

I remember at four or five, after visiting the Japanese Tea Gardens in San Francisco, making my own Japanese tea with little bowls, hydrangeas, and gasoline. I fashioned sort of a low table in the garage and floated the hydrangeas on the gasoline. It was very pretty. I didn't drink any, but I also don't recall anyone…

The teacher said "Uh, Mr. Mindymoo's Dad, that's a very festive costume." My dad was exhausted from sleep deprivation and when it dawned on him that there was no play, he just kind of high tailed it out of there. The other kids looked at me kind of dumbfounded, wondering why I was dressed as a turkey. Since I didn't…

When I was in 2nd grade, my class made gingerbread cookies. The teachers orchestrated an elaborate ruse where they pretended the gingerbread cookies ran away. They left flour trails around the school, and wrote messages from the gingerbread cookies with chalk. Messages like "Run run as fast as you can, can't catch…

I (and my best friend, but it was my idea) dragged a wagonload of rocks from my gravel driveway around our neighborhood, selling them door to door. Because we were little (about four) and cute, we made like $5, which in 1975 was really good money for a preschooler.

One time when I was playing with the dolls that my grandmother would buy me in an attempt to make me a girly girl, I stripped the clothes off all of them except for one. I then arranged all of the naked dolls in a circle around the clothed doll, with their legs bent back and their arms up, clearly worshipping her. My…

Oh god. I was six or seven when 'Achy Breaky Heart' came out. My grandparents had a camper in a permanent lot on the Ohio River (on the West Virginia side, thank you very much), one of those campgrounds where you leave your camper year-round and can build porches for them if you wish. That summer, the spot next to…

I had a weird obsession with cannibalism. For my 4th grade enrichment class I built a large papier mâché island featuring a volcano, trees, caves, essential cooking pot and cannibal play figures. I wish I had a picture of that. Instead I offer the Mother's Day card I made that year. Mum still has it. I can't believe…

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

She's cute now, sure, but soon will come her terrible twos, where Grande will also learn to scream "I don't wanna!" at the top of her lungs and likely figure out that anything she can throw can be a weapon

She has beautiful eyes but all I see is the bottom liner. That needs to go. I think it is very aging, same goes for the Duchess of Cambridge. Look at the difference on Liv (the Vietnam one with the french braid) with much more subtle lower lid lining. It really opens up your eyes if done properly.

jia, i like the way you do words in the order that you do. you are good at words orders.