Team YELP vs. Team Glasshole.

Satan likes repeat customers, and by Satan I mean corporations.

I know you're not a lawyer C.A. So i'll understand your ignorance at the importantence of the "Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers" precedent establish by the Supreme Court in the hotly contested case of Rubber v Glue.

I put my foot down and said that I would either wear an awesome, non-diamond engagement ring every day, OR an unobtrusive band with which I could pair other rings, but I was not willing to have a monstrous, two-ring blob on my left hand, rendering my large and glorious collection of cheap street market rings useless. …

How the hell is he still alive?! [reads article]... oh... he's Finnish. Well, that answers that.

I seriously laughed so hard at the gownopus and the textured dildo gown that I couldn't breathe and frightened my husband.

Why you gotta pile more hate on such a maligned breed? Much like Pit Bulls, it's entirely the OWNER that is at fault if anyone gets hurt - which is why Pit Bulls and Bears should be allowed in every home, in every park, and in every back yard.

Since in this case I fear "retire" means "being identified by semi digested stomach contents and gnawed bones," I am glad to hear he has no plans for same.

I wish there was a gif of him making this expression, so I could send it to trolls. INTERNET, PLEASE PROVIDE.

She actually lives in a light-less cave in the basement of Kleinfelds. She makes each gown lovingly, but completely in the dark, so she has no idea how hideous they are. When Randy summons her from the cave (this is how she is always available), she is actually seeing the gown for the first time. But she doesn't see…

I should probably be ashamed but I really love that dress.

Dammit I like the colours

I was just coming here to say the Exact. Same. Thing.

Hot damn this is a beautiful woman

I believe this is a costume from the upcoming Pan's Labyrinth 2: Pan Harder.

When I was deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up I should have picked tabloid journalist ("journalist") or weather person because with either one you can literally be wrong ALL THE TIME and still be employed.

FLATIZZA IS AN ANAGRAM OF ILLUMINATI #STAYWOKE

I'm surprised that in all the speculation that's gone on today nobody has reached for the obvious.

AAAHHH. GODDAMMIT FUCK. That's weird, cuz I thought I caught that before I hit publish. (KINJA!!!) What the fuck is wrong with me. Maybe we could just make up our own new words to use here at Jezebel. "Girfliend: Like a girlfriend, but way betterer."