But Norman was likable!

He Binged it.

My cousin has six- the oldest is 16. When I told my great-aunt about the fourth, her elderly neck whipped around and asked, “Has she figured out where they come from?”

So did I! And I was even mildly entertained through it! But not nearly as entertained as I was through BP.

They’re procreating like they’re trying to secure a throne.

I read an article years ago that drew a correlation between wealth and ostentatiously large families. Although the few friends I have with 3+ children are just upper middle class.

The thought of having 4 kids in 5 years makes my vagina want to seal up, but you do you Hilaria.

I was SO conflicted watching Piers call her out. I LOATHE HIM. Everything he said was true, but coming out of his disgusting mouth makes it so hard to hear. He’s giving her publicity just so he can yell at her which irritates me even though she totally had it coming.

So, Ryan Seacrest?

You know, I wish that her family wasn’t trying as hard as they could to be tackier than our president. Like I feel so bad for her, bc god knows that she has a tough road to walk trying to gain acceptance in that world, and they are just being as fcking low rent as possible. I’ve dated above my socio-economic class,…

I am mentally slapping that doctor on your behalf.

Body Glide is the only thing that truly works although I’m ok with the bicycle short style apparel thing too personally. The texture of Body Glide is so strange. When you apply it, it feels like it’s going to increase the friction because it’s sort of, I don’t know, tacky? Not smooth anyway. But it works. It’s not…

This is helpful. Also, this line was extremely accurate: “a battle-scarred, hardened carapace the texture and color of a beloved baseball glove.” Once I was at an appointment with a new OB-GYN, discussing questions about getting pregnant via a donor. Within the space of maybe ten minutes, the doctor: 1) implied that…

I have this tube of Monistat anti-chafing powder gel that is like MAGIC. Every spring, I think I lost it. I go to the store, and can’t find it. I come home, and keep looking and it miraculously shows up. I have had this one tube for YEARS. I wear bike-short type things most days but sometimes that doesn’t work, and…

The best anti-chafing gel used to be the Lanacane Anti-Chafing Gel. That stuff was magic - it was what saved me from a world of agony on an all-day Disneyland trip in August. But then they replaced it with an Anti-Friction Gel that sucks.

Microsoft-certified robot techs will confuse metric and imperial, giving the robots microdicks. Amply-endowed robots will obviously run on Linux.

I’m down for it, once they’ve got Gigolo Joe in stock..

No. I’m in tech. It’ll glitch, the updates will freeze up, I’ll be tempted to start tinkering. This is just an expensive, long-winded way of bringing work home.

They fuck every hour on the hour...

A girl can dream!