This is what happens when you eat too many Ls.

Jameis Winston standing there by himself trying to look hard after none of his teammates made the slightest effort to hold him back—when it was damn clear to everyone that’s what he wanted—is a goddamned Christmas miracle.

We’re trying to figure out if his legs work, not his foot, idiot.

Holy shit, you are a horrible person...and so am I

I’ve long held the position that outside of a few shining commenters, Kotaku is home to some of the dumbest motherfuckers on the internet.

Only $2.50 if you count the way it comes back up an hour later.

This is the correct take

I’m giving you a star and then slowly backing away

That’s exactly what I’m saying.

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

You are such a fucking asshole.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

Kotaku should be covered in honey and dumped in a pit full of fire ants.

Escorts >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> esports

You’re going to sit here in front of all these people and Jesus and tell me those are three different people and not just a photo of the same sad dude at 3 different points in his life?

Diners are practically built for people eating alone. You can pretend to be a cross-country truck driver, or a spy!

Thank you for this oddly comforting little piece of advice!

I’m a 20-something, and when I’m home for Christmas or whatever I love to hit up old favorites when my folks/siblings are at work. My sister thinks this is an incredibly odd and eccentric thing to do, especially at our little local diner. I say I’m a hungry…

White moderates have never been useful.

The tone varies wildly from snob to slob depending on who is writing the article. I'm sure the next article after this will be about the virtues of Velveeta.