Some constructive criticism, thehunchbackofnotredwayne, since I see you are interested in pursuing a path in sexist trolling: you need to commit (I would suggest you fact-check, too, put that's probably beyond you — Maddie is a staff writer here, just FYI! That is a full-time position, and also a vagina is not…

I will devour this like so much maple sugar snow candy.

"Am i missing something?"

The whole time we were working on this, I couldn't get this out of my head:

I will be taking credit for Prince Eric, whom Kelly and I fought over like his was the last dick on earth. (And by that I mean we disagreed on what his penis looks like.)

No one's slick as Gaston

Let me be clear: When I say that a secret treasure room may be the best birthday present ever, I don't mean to say that it is the greatest birthday present ever for a four year old, I mean that it is the greatest birthday present ever, full stop. You know, in case anyone reading this is wondering what to get me for my…

As someone of faith (I know, it's rare. It's a freaking Jesus unicorn) I have to say I'm SO ecstatic to see Driscoll forced out. This guy was an embarrassment and incredibly dangerous to so many people that crossed his path. Good on Acts 29 for removing him.

I got ginger ale so no one really won. Except me, because I love ginger ale.

1. Get rid of your shitty artwork

I HAVE A GIF THAT MADE IT ONTO THAT TUMBLR

I bet the catriarchy did this

Ditto. It's a shame because I enjoy Colin Firth a great deal, and Emma Stone is always charming, but ecch.

I don't think movie reviews are supposed to be objective. If they were, they'd just be a short plot summary and the runtime.

If I didn't know how shitty the books were, not list "Secretary" as one of my favorite movies ever or wasn't actually into BDSM this trailer just might make me want to see this. Good job editing team.

Yes, but do the Floor Mats match the Drapes ???

also, fun fact: brazilian airplane inventor/aeronautic mastermind alberto santos-dumont sometimes wrote his last name "santos=dumont" to give equal weight to both his mom and dad!

Good. Maybe I can convert some people who think that it's weird that my favourite color is goddamned pink because I'm so smart and accomplished.

Because you want your child to be the force of good that counteracts all of that evil bullshit going on.

Semi-related: I describe my kid as "like the raptors in Jurassic Park" — he's studying and finding weaknesses to exploit. He could open child-proof bottles before he was one. Those plastic covers for plugs? He just pulls them out. We have these chord loop doohickeys that wrap around two knobs and you tighten it down…