I am not a paper clip I'm actually a binder clip.

Hi Rachel, I'm Robo Trumble. Now you have a black friend, and you can go tell those fools your Black Friend said they can fuck right off.

Actually that's not the line: it's "I'm a comedian first." Which is not meant to get him out of having to have the courage of his convictions, but to define his role in the political process. Specifically, when Fox or their allies tries to nail him down as some sort of left-wing political machination. He says he's a…

It might be weird and a bad example for him to abstain, but consider the political contribution he's made over the past decade. I think we can let it go this once.

Mark, "epic proportions" would mean the both falling and him getting impaled on her bouquet or her getting her eye gouged out. This is not epic. This is just people falling.

I didn't think I'd get turned on by this, but he put it in first-person. And, yep, there it is.

Okay, this might be unpopular, and I understand if you ignore it. But I really dislike this post. Like, a lot.

I got married a year ago, and at the time I found there to be quite a bit of anti-wedding bias on the Jezebel editorial staff; a good deal of the wedding-related posts were mocking traditions or, worse,…

hi i think you have a lot of good idears and i want to talk to you more about them these animals they are freedom fioghters and i think its the lefty pinko freaks who would suggest we eat them you know why because they are cannibals think about it its all just a big flat circle and if we are all the same species as…

Indeed.

After splitting from Gwyneth he probably farted for a week nonstop. You know she doesn't allow that behavior in the house.

This reminds me that I need to sue George Lucas, because Empire Strikes Back was TOTALLY about me.

Do you wanna take this summons?

A low-budget midseason replacement show on the shitty WB network starring nobody you know except maybe that guy from the British version of those will-they-or-won't-they coffee commercials, based on a below-average movie that was mildly amusing at its BEST, and written/created by the guy who's best known for doing…

This is blatantly anti-woman. Either make a policy that GoFundMe can never be used to raise funds for health care or anything obliquely related to medical care, or fuck off.

PREACH.

Seriously, that's majorly fucked up. I mean, it's nothing illegal and if other people have a moral objection to one particular fund, then they aren't obligated to donate. It's that simple. What utter bullshit.

The only reasonable course is for us to rally and demand that GoFundMe also prohibit crowdfunding for all other legal medical procedures.

Jeez, no abortions takes away 90% of what Planned Parenthood does already. You really need to ban Sorcery and take away the other 10?

You can still raise money for cops who kill unarmed children, though. I will never, ever use this piece of crap site for anything again. GoFundMe can GoFuckItself.