Dick Tips? Seriously?

I’d do it for 5 mil. That should be enough to buy a name change, a dye job, and a house on an island in the Pacific.

Parodies are covered by fair use, both of the comedic and porn variety.

And in other news, Seventeen now advises its readers of a great new hack to avoid paying for lipgloss by shoplifting. /sarcasm

Even if Starbucks does try to figure out who wrote in, as long as the barista doesn’t readily admit it was them, they should be fine. “Menu hacker” guy does this every day so chances are he’s been served by a ton of baristas who have all had to deal with his bullshit scheme. Plus, Starbucks has seen blowback happen to…

Jezebel talks about enough douche daily. It was only a matter of time before literal vagisil douche made the cut.

Thinspo is the new thing of the people who used the pro ana tag on Tumblr before they were banned. For some reason they love to spam the food tag with pictures of thigh gaps and protruding ribs. I’ll stick with my burger.

Part of me wants to see Darden try to sue for calling them litigious motherfuckers simply so that your defense can be the fact that they’re suing you.