We want people to eat healthy, but first we need them to eat food at all, and candy is not nutrition, it is not food, it’s just sugar: worthless instant energy that does nothing for their real needs. It has no protein, no long-chain carbohydrates, no dietary fiber, no vitamins or minerals, it doesn’t even have bulk to…

“Maybe you’ve got a hearty squash crop that you’d like to share.”

If someone is watching too much Faux News, they might think that someone, now poor, whose work was outsourced to Bangalore India 6 months ago is less of a human being than one who has better luck, and therefore should be glad to have the richer person’s expired food.

So, no donating fresh foie gras, still in the goose?

The single best donation you can make, aside from your time, is money. Food banks can stretch your dollars much further than you can, and they will be able to purchase exactly what they need.

I’m curious just how much noise this thing makes between the tires at low speed and wind noise at high speed. 

I think it’s some sort of bizarre performative protectiveness. He wants to convince his weird supporters that he’s a good father, but just has no idea how to do it.

You know the people who really need a go bag? Parents of trans children who live in republican controled states. Because they are in the quietly pack up your life and slip out under cover of darkness phase of the march towards Fascism. The grab your bags and run for your lives is the next one.

Andrew Giuliani being your boyfriend isn’t gonna stop you from having sex with another guy.

There’s not a doubt in my mind he does.

I’m sure he has a plan in place for that. 

While I wish the overuse of ‘hack’ should just die, this is brilliant. A real #WTFDITOT 

Even if that happens, Rudd will have arranged for Conan to speak at his funeral anyway, and Conan’s speech will introduce a montage of clips of Rudd on Conan’s show, but it will just be the Mac & Me clip again.

Not if Conan kills him first!

I’m laughing just reading about it. I hope Paul Rudd does this at Conan’s funeral.

The ukulele version of Somewhere over the Rainbow.

Miller “was allegedly yelling obscenities” and “became agitated when people began singing karaoke.”

I mean, we’ve already got his replacement with the cheekbones and distinct look in Timothee Chalamet. Clearly, v2.0 is superior but the battery life on v1.0 just hasn’t quite run out yet.

hey come back! you forgot your tissue!

Sayonara, fuckheads.