At the end of the day, Charlie Damski and Tiffany King both got to go viral

1. Props for the courage to get up there and do that while everyone eats candy loudly and fucks around on their phones. I’d melt into a puddle at the mere thought (introverted as hell)

Nice ! Digital history from the 90s is wild. So many crazy stories or stroke of luck everywhere. I love the story about the guys at Blizzard refusing to lend an office to a friend who had a promising idea (although totally unrelated to games) while they were working on Diablo 1, which was not an easy game to do. The…

Brent Rambo approves.

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”

This is it exactly, all they hear about is how the world outside their bubble is so awful, so they never leave, its a feedback loop of toxic beliefs.

Why do you hate America?

Probably. just like the mark-ups for lumber. There was never a shortage. People were at home and wanted to build more stuff so they simply raised the prices. 

$20 chicken sandwiches instead of $11 sandwiches at Panera?

Will poultry and egg prices increase?

New York is the city, New York State is used when you need to refer to its backyard.

My hack is either to scoop off 75% of the frosting entirely, or just get a muffin instead.

Turns out frosting is cheap and colorful, buyers are gullible and see that as a positive.

It’s a Diet Dr. Pepper bottle ... but do we know what’s actually in it? Maybe he’s doing his lines in liquid form.

Right? Are you eating a couple bites of cake or just trying to stuff as much frosting into your mouth as possible?

I don’t know when things got so ‘extra’. My childhood memories don’t include cupcakes with 50/50 cake to frosting. Thanks to Instagram, literally everything has become a pissing contest. And I realize that metaphor doesn’t work well with the subject matter, lol.

This is the correct take.

cupcakes can be eaten one-handed—or zero-handed, if you choose to attack it with a fork

Cupcakes have too much goddamn frosting. That’s the problem. Cut the frosting, no hack necessary.

I am John from the video! Just have to say how incredibly psyched I am to be featured on Jalopnik. Couldn’t have imagined a more creative way for that to happen....