> a Cadillac driving recklessly down a road known as Alligator Alley.

I get the feeling that if the world ends in a Mad Max or Fallout 4 style cataclysm, Florida won’t even notice the difference.

These are not the 72 virgins they were expecting.

1) Thank god the President is secure

Gavin: Downgrade. Definitely a downgrade. For shame.

GET UP, Johnny Football. Cleveland needs you!

Yes, the African American community won AGAIN. When will white people finally catch a goddamn break?!

I just heard an insanely nice story. An old man named peg-leg bob (you heard me and yes he had a real peg-leg) passed away a few years back hometown. He was a lonely old coot with no family and ate at the same steak place 4 times a week, eating the same thing every time. I had to go to that restaurant yesterday for a…

I don’t know if I’m just in an emotional mood today, but I’m literally crying at these as if “It’s Quiet Uptown” was on. Thank you.

Good for you for realizing what a threat he is. I made the mistake of letting my ex “support” me and it was a nightmare. As long as I was paying the bills he acted like a semi-decent human being. I tried living with him while he paid rent in two different apartments 10 years apart and I couldn’t last more than two…

I’m now a man, but as a child, I spent a few months in a women’s shelter with my mom and brother after my parents got divorced. These shelters do amazing things - it’s not just a safe space to stay in to get away from domestic violence, but there’s childcare services, there’s information on legal assistance and…

Also:

Kind of atypical for a hockey player to give a puck.

Tyler laying the ground work early. Next step, convince her to go to school near Dallas in two years. That’s what sets Tyler apart, long term planning.

Yeah my ex was cheating with a girl when he dumped me. After the breakup She sent me a mocking message on mothers day referencing an abortion I'd had that I assumed my ex had told her about. They weren’t even dating, and didn’t end up together, but fuuuck if I had her address she’d get some horseshit.

Ah, when he was at Spy Magazine, Graydon Carter referred to Trump as a ‘short-fingered vulgarian’. I’m going with that one.

I feel years ahead of my time. Long before Reeses cereal I would mix Cocoa Puffs and Peanutbutter Capn Crunch.

But he’s a lover of women! Both this chucklefuck and his daughter have said that he’d be great for women as President!

This didn’t happen to me.

My family is Canadian, so I can speak with some authority: Justin is a very common name in Canada.