I’m sorry but the Astros said that this is misleading and you are just trying to fabricate a story. They are actually up 2 games to none. THEY HAVE WIVES AND DAUGHTERS AND ARE PROGRESSIVE.

Also social imperative. You make a place worth living in by having schools worth staying in.

GANG THREATENS WOMAN FOR REPORTING THEIR CRIMES

“Khalil Mack Has Leg Amputated at Knee by Hidden Battleaxe, Still Strip-Sacks Jared Goff (UPDATE: He Grew Another Leg)“

Damn it, I thought it was what happened when six Mormons forced to live together stop being Polite Salt Lake and start being Real.

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

I refuse to believe Sidney Crosby is cool enough to do drugs. 

Seattle is the only team that I despise soley based on its fanbase:

Joule thief!

As a Bears fan living in NJ, missing a Bears game is no big deal because I can just watch them all play again 4 years later as Jets.

Friendship with Odell ended. Fawn is new best friend. 

This is actually leaked footage from Bambi 3. Bambi’s mom doesn’t die, but gets drafted by the Browns, which seems somehow sadder.

Only if the villain is Adam Driver and he kills Indy at the end of the movie. 

“White Walkers HATE her! This one neat dagger trick will end the Long Night”

If someone was going to ruin Endgame, I’d have guessed Andy Reid.

... a fourth-line pest is stuck inside the body of that 100-point man.

“Lives are literally changed, there’s a rebranding of humanity and it’s all ‘cause [of] this initiative.

maybe Our Dumb President is right and the Jets really are too complicated to operate

Is he venomous? I assume he’s venomous.