Lots of Columbus fans were pretty salty on Twitter last night about how literally no one picked them to advance. As a neutral observer (I’m a Blackhawks fan, and I lived in DC for a while so the Caps are the only Eastern Conference team I give any fucks about) I think that it’s fair to say that a) it was completely…

The only controversial part was that it took 7 whole minutes to make the objectively correct call.

Quadruple extra fuck Raffi Torres now and forever. But also fuck Mike Smith, I still haven’t forgiven him for that insane flop that the ensuing “maybe he’s concussed” con job that led to Shaw getting suspended for 3 games. If it weren’t for Mike Smith I’d definitely be rooting for the Flames to come out of the west,…

17a: Loudly complaining to literally everyone about a (relatively) small group of people calling you a dumb asshole is the kind of thing only a dumb asshole would do

Leverage. Not only did AB demand a trade out of Pittsburh, which alone hurt the team’s leverage in any trade negotiations, he also made it abundantly clear that he a) wouldn’t report anywhere without a new contract, and b) wouldn’t sign said contract with just anyone (eg the nixed trade to Buffalo) further hurting…

The point of this graft, literally the entire business model, was that it’s way less expensive than the old school bribery-by-way-of-donation. High School is one thing, for a university you’re not getting guaranteed acceptance for your kid with a 1-time donation beneath the mid-7 figure mark. Loughlin paid $500k for…

Given that her parents allegedly spent $500k to get her into USC, i.e. roughly 10x the annual tuition, it’s pretty fucking fair to wonder how many of those 2 million YouTube subscribers are actual people and not just bots and purchased followers...

Being designated as a recruit is not the same thing as receiving a scholarship and thus does not require actual participation in the sport at the collegiate level. Plenty of college athletes, including those in revenue-generating programs at large schools (i.e. big time football and basketball programs) but…

Shorter lines at TSA? Vacation hot spots less crowded and largely free of #MAGA chuds? Sounds glorious!

*Disclaimer: only valid if your parents are already rich, if your parents are poor then you’re SOL

Remove one of the p’s though and it’s an accurate (if grammatically incorrect) descriptor

to be fair the onus apparently isn’t on twitter comedians to sue million dollar companies, rather the onus is on said twitter comedians to treat outright harassment from million dollar companies as “good-faith negotiating” though it’s not as if that’s any better

While there is enough anecdotal evidence to back that up, we don’t actually have statistics to know that for certain precisely because NRA-backed politicians have made it damn near impossible to compile or study any comprehensive statistics about gun violence

It’s all about giving him enough rope to hang himself. He’ll break the gag order and find himself remanded into federal custody, and at no point during his subsequent trial and sentencing will he have any credible grounds to claim that his being jailed prior to and during his trial was unfair or improper.

The only Costco item that’s truly on my “DO NOT BUY” list is the 24-pack case of glass-bottle, made-with-actual-sugar Mexican Coke. And it’s not because it’ll go bad or it’s not a good price, it’s just because I’m too weak to resist the temptation to drink at least one a day when I otherwise have soda maybe once a…

but if it’s a hot dog that raises an even bigger question - is it a sandwich?

To be fair re: Yakupov, it’s hard to fault the Oilers there (unless you want to make the argument that they failed to develop him properly). He was the consensus #1 prospect in that draft, whoever won the draft lottery was going to take him first it just happened to be the Oilers. It’s not like they went off the board…

That trade is actually incredibly damning of Chiarelli because he traded a better forward (Hall > Johansen) for a considerably lesser defenseman (Jones >>> Larsson)

The dudes were clearly pissed about the Cowboys losing and decided to take out their frustration on the waitress. Which means that not only are they complete douchebags for the shitty tip and “fuck you” note, but they’re also pathetic fucking losers for deciding that the best way to deal with the disappointment of…

So when the Cardinals go 3-13 (or worse) again next year does Kingsbury get turfed after just 1 season, or does that only happen to non-white coaches in Arizona who fail in their 1st season with absolute shit rosters?