There is literally no possible way that Mitt Romney has ever had even a fraction of the coordination required to dance like that for the amount of time that elapses in that clip without either falling over or kicking someone (or both). He couldn’t even handle being the guy in the hat on the far left, middle-school-slow…

The Berlin Wall actually worked reasonably well for what it was intended to do, the biggest difference between it and the wall that MAGA dolts want to build (aside from the logistical nightmare you point out of making it over 200x longer, which in and of itself makes it a practical impossibility to build) is that the…

Maybe he simply surrendered ownership since it wasn’t the Cowboys?

There is literally only 1 thing I use my whiskey stones f0r - when I’m using my sous vide to cook something, I’ll put the whiskey stone on top of the vacuum-sealed bag that holds the food I’m cooking in order to weigh it down and ensure it stays fully submerged while it’s cooking. I mean, I could use just plain old…

to be fair, it is literally the show’s only flaw

no, you misunderstood, Snyder offered to get Smith on the waitlist for some rides at 6 Flags

I agree. The show did not miss a beat in the first half of season 5 when she was out on maternity leave. While Chelsea Parretti is great and the show has done a lot of fun things with Gina, I’m really not concerned about Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s fate without her as a regular

It’s beyond fucking infuriating when people invoke the “a few bad apples” axiom to defend a group after several members do something abhorrent. The whole fucking saying is “a few bad apples spoils the bunch” not “it’s only a few bad apples, everything’s fine”. When people invoke “a few bad apples” they’re fucking…

Despite it seeming logical to be otherwise, it is depressingly common for once-oppressed people to, upon gaining a foothold of power, turn around and oppress other people. You’d think that they’d sympathize with other oppressed peoples having experienced oppression themselves, but it seems most would rather exercise…

All of the other teams listed were expected from the outset to be ass, no one (well, no one with an IQ above 10) ever expected any non-assness from any of them. The embarrassment that was the USMNT is the only reasonable choice here

Wow, Toonces the Cat Who Could Drive a Car, that’s a deep cut

Wait wait wait hold on a sec, you mean that Cincinnati isn’t already uninhabitable?

There are plenty of other industries where a person continues to be paid after being let go. It’s called severance, and it’s pretty god damned common when someone is pushed out while still under contract

Honest question, what would you prefer: several more years of Marvin Lewis at the helm in Cincy, or Lewis fired and replaced by Hue Jackson?

While I would imagine that that was the reasoning behind Fox News filing an amicus brief in support of CNN on this, I think this outcome was more about the White House realizing that there was no way they’d win an actual court decision and trying to save face and avoid calling this a loss

While Ebukam did a great job of actually making and finishing the play, he really did nothing but happen to be in the right place to make that interception. I have no clue what Mahomes thinks he was trying to do there, but the best possible scenario for that pass if Ebukam doesn’t make that pick is still just plunking…

Wait wait wait, that doesn’t sound right. This was a curling tournament in Alberta, are you sure they weren’t disqualified for not being drunk enough?

Instead of orange he’ll probably wear something the color of the blue alternate, which isn’t nearly as ostentatious as the orange but should still stick out clearly. Or else he’ll just stick with the orange. Either way he’s a douche

You’re almost correct. The only thing you missed is that he doesn’t just get hired as a defensive coordinator somewhere, but rather he goes back to the Pats. Everything else is spot on

Yeah I can’t help but think that maybe he’d change his tune if someone spray-painted “An old shit-for-brains asshole lives here” on his garage.