Wow, Toonces the Cat Who Could Drive a Car, that’s a deep cut

Wait wait wait hold on a sec, you mean that Cincinnati isn’t already uninhabitable?

There are plenty of other industries where a person continues to be paid after being let go. It’s called severance, and it’s pretty god damned common when someone is pushed out while still under contract

Honest question, what would you prefer: several more years of Marvin Lewis at the helm in Cincy, or Lewis fired and replaced by Hue Jackson?

While I would imagine that that was the reasoning behind Fox News filing an amicus brief in support of CNN on this, I think this outcome was more about the White House realizing that there was no way they’d win an actual court decision and trying to save face and avoid calling this a loss

While Ebukam did a great job of actually making and finishing the play, he really did nothing but happen to be in the right place to make that interception. I have no clue what Mahomes thinks he was trying to do there, but the best possible scenario for that pass if Ebukam doesn’t make that pick is still just plunking…

Wait wait wait, that doesn’t sound right. This was a curling tournament in Alberta, are you sure they weren’t disqualified for not being drunk enough?

Instead of orange he’ll probably wear something the color of the blue alternate, which isn’t nearly as ostentatious as the orange but should still stick out clearly. Or else he’ll just stick with the orange. Either way he’s a douche

You’re almost correct. The only thing you missed is that he doesn’t just get hired as a defensive coordinator somewhere, but rather he goes back to the Pats. Everything else is spot on

Yeah I can’t help but think that maybe he’d change his tune if someone spray-painted “An old shit-for-brains asshole lives here” on his garage.

I don’t know why this surprises you. The only way that one could defend picking Scherzer over DeGrom is if by placing value on wins as a statistic for pitchers, because by literally every other metric (i.e. the ones that actually matter) DeGrom thoroughly dominated. FFS, if his absurd 1.70 ERA wasn’t enough, his 2.13…

Because at least the turf at Soldier is also frozen solid

All I want is for Holt to have gotten the commissioner job and at least 1 episode of him lording his new position as her boss over Wunch, is that too much to ask?

No idea where you might be able to find it for free, but all 5 seasons are on Hulu

Exactly. The pizza is, of course, hot garbage but the garlic parmesan breadsticks are like fucking crack; craving said breadsticks my wife tried to argue that since he’s been removed from the board and no longer a part of the company we could order them guilt free and I had to tell her that no, motherfucker still owns…

Why start a whole new one? I’m sure that Herman Cain would be thrilled if he wanted to invest in Godfather Pizza, hell they could even change the name to Godfather John’s Pizza

This horrific piece of news reminds me of how one of the victims of the Aurora movie theater shooting in 2012 had only weeks earlier narrowly avoided being caught in a shooting in a mall food court in Toronto, she left literally minutes before that shooting began. The fact that there are so many guns, and so many…

If every current MLB player retired tomorrow, they’d in all likelihood simply be replaced wholesale by each team’s AAA affiliate. And if Bill James, or anyone else, is really stupid enough to think that that wouldn’t dramatically impact the game’s popularity (which should be obvious just by looking at attendance…

It’s because his internal organs are literally embalmed at this point

The problem is that the higher birth rates of black and Hispanic kids is not in and of itself going to push a demographic change fast enough. First of all, there’s the obvious point that it’ll take 18 years for those kids to be eligible to vote. Secondly, and more importantly, there are other issues at play that will…