just because im in Michigan today:

“Separate but equal.”

and/or how uncomfortable girls make us

Oh and your initial review of the Witcher 3 is spot on. If Geralt existed in our time he’d live out of a van with airbrushed unicorns or wizards on it and have a day job at Guitar Center while doing amateur theatre work at night. I’ve played it for like 4 hours and haven’t had much fun with it. I play video games so I…

you see the current gaming climate is all about ethics.

Dance, clown man, dance for my amusement!

So ... what you’re saying is, what’s wrong with this article is that I’m correct about the Xbox One being a bad product. Nice.

You shouldn’t have said all that shit about its friend, HitchBOT.

As an Xbox One come to life, I take issue with this article. The author, as a human (presumably, although from his description and previous writings I suspect he is rather a Sega Dreamcast who got a chef’s knife for Christmas once) cannot help but tout his organic privilege with every rendered character. Have you…

what the literal fuck is the “current gaming climate?”

Wait, you don’t write for a tech blog? Then how come I keep putting egg yolks, butter, and lemon juice into my DVD drive to make hollandaise sauce?

Please explain “the current gaming climate” in a way that will make me feel great about the fact that I brought home two Xbox Ones in less than 24 hours and neither one of them was able to be used as a game console.

I don’t write for a tech blog. What the fuck are you talking about?

I want Albert to do video game and system reviews forever, and to have defensive gamers come on here and entirely miss the point in perpetuity. Can this be a regular thing?

The whole point of having a gaming console, is that it is easy to setup and play games.

Don’t sweat the difficulties, Albert. If we know one thing about gamers, it’s that they’re not particularly hypersensitive to any sort of direct or even indirect criticism about their hobby.

Adherance to modern western culture brings with it the exact same crap. You imagine most of our clothes weren’t made cheaper by impoverishing others? Do you think the divisions of class have somehow melted away? Perhaps 1 in 3 women aren’t victims of sexual abuse in this glorious modern age and maybe the police aren’t…

I wouldn’t choose to live in Victorian times but holy fuck if this piece of writing didn’t make me hate our current era.

I like big bikes and I cannot lie.

If I was rich enough to pick an eccentric life, it would not be a worse life than my current one. Like, why make everything harder on yourself?