I am in awe that she has gone public. Cancer is scary, but also gross, messy, very painful, completely ravages and changes your body, and it’s a very ugly side of life that people would rather not have in front of them...but it’s so important.

This is going to sound harsh, but I couldn’t think of a nice way to say this.

I’m trying to be gentle ... but I think you know the explanation. His wife caught him in yet another web of lies, and he’s freaked out about destroying his marriage. Even though he already did. His wife probably banned him from talking with you or texting you. (Please, please, please do not reach out to his wife…

Of course he’s full of shit, every single thing he says is a stupid lie. He’ll never debate Clinton in any kind of real neutral setting, he’ll only do it if he can arrange for a moronic circus scene full of screeching idiots who roar over his spastic twitching and dopey insults. He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a…

Ouch!

Ugh the word pantsuit is the worst. It’s a suit! Just called a suit! That’s what it is. Men wear suits that include pants every day of their lives and no one ever says it’s a pantsuit. Just call it a suit. /pet peeve rant

I am still literally literally gobsmacked that it never occurred to anyone in the Trump campaign that it would look bad to have Ivanka wearing a non-American-made outfit. Even if/especially it was from her own line.

My friend went into a Target yesterday, and saw a bunch of onesies that said “Future President” in with the boy baby clothes. There were no such onesies on the girl baby clothes side. She took half of them off the rack and moved them to the girl side, which is why we are friends.

Female cop. Female cop. Female cop. There are no man cops. There are male cops.

Well, I guess my column of People I Never Expected To Feel Sympathy For now includes every woman ever employed by Fox News.

He actually unintentionally did some good work there, though. Ed Hardy’s brand needed to be killed.

I get this isn’t a glamorous job, but is it really necessary to shit on this guy for working?

Hard to make a speech about the guy you’re married to because he has hella money.

She also Rick Rolled the audience:

Big fan of your Mom right now.

Beyonce, next question.

i am 100% sure that the kardashians (and E!) consulted with lawyers before the released this. they figured either

This is all a publicity stunt and everyone is in on it.

Checking in at 50. Wrinkles and acne are no joke. I’m on Epiduo, which is a combo of adalpene and benzoyl peroxide, and it works. I’ve suffered with acne since I was 11. It is all I can see in the mirror. I’d insert an emoji if I wasn’t so ancient. FUCK will do.

jia you could stay