I cannot help but read this as Old Navy.

Free publicity and more of those sweet, sweet Mail Caimp dollars.

No they won’t! They won’t vary one bit! Buyers will continue to have weird lives where they think burning candles will have any effect on quality of life (besides making everything smell 150% like Kris’ musk.) The world will continue to turn, their lives will still be weird and they will continue to not truly…

This made me feel disgusting. Well played.

Article filed to Donald, Dornald and Murder.

This photo is unbelievably amazing.

I can only imagine my mom going crazier if I had materialized some Beatles tickets... Sir Paul must still put on an enjoyable show!

You shouldn’t be, I promise. All her heartbreak ballads are particularly timely for me right now and on constant repeat... Hence why I knew of the concerts, and my date is my mom. It’s one stroke of luck in the middle of a bunch of bullshit. But, yeah, it will be a fun time. : )

Yeah, it’s was a truly amazing reaction for $150 and 30 minutes. It almost makes up for how terrible Nocember and December have been otherwise...

I was able to play the waiting game that day, and ended up with two tickets for me and my mom’s Christmas present. She’ll have to fly across the country for the show, but I figured the resale value would be worth the small risk that she couldn’t come. I asked her if she wanted to be surprised early since I didn’t have…

I feel like there’s a solid lactose intolerance joke in here.

I’ve been wondering, what will happen to Trump if/when he doesn’t win the nomination or overall election? His entire brand is to be the biggest and best and not a loser, and anything but the presidency will directly damage that reputation. Will his loyal supporters continue to care so much when he’s back to being a…

Ask Trump.

Yes, this defense is obviously working for Cosby, so it will obviously be a 100% success for this doof. Absolutely. Read all about it in the Lawyering 101 textbook.

Floridian educations?

I was with you until “Pizza Hut.” There are so many better, smaller brands. These students won’t even know that they’re being delivered a lecture on a topic that is... un-supreme.

So basically we all just have to wait until someone figures out how to get a gun into Congress, then we mere mortals will be safe again (after a decade long filibuster.)

I wonder what the NRA will say when one of their “good guys” arrives on one of these scenes, starts running amok with a handgun, and is killed by a SWAT team.

It’s more problematic to me that she immediately shows off her haircut on social media. She’s doing something “shocking” to look stereotypically less feminine, but then puts on make up, duckfaces and captions it with how liberating it is? Ladies with shaved heads can look beautiful (just like ladies with any hair…

Isn’t it probably more about her need to feel powerful and a sense of control during a terrible event, than thinking it was truly OK? I mean, assuming Gramma wasn’t usually a cold hearted bitch. It seems she’s attacking a sensitive topic so she doesn’t feel exposed.