Something tells me this isn't the first blockage his chest has experienced.

The guy is a regular William Butler Yeast.

Driving home....through twilight in the Appalachians. The rolling hills of West Virginia behind, and I've negotiated I-70 in Pennsylvania. Sunset purpling ahead, and the traffic gradually thins to a slow trickle. I punch at the radio, running through a jazz CD, a scractchy AM sports station from somewhere near…

Also, they gap between the best players and the fillers is much smaller. The classic players (such as Ty Cobb, Cy Young, Walter Johnson) could pad stats against some weaker opponents that would only be in low minors in todays game.

You should see my mom frantically flailing it around while doing her best Count voice in front of 20 transfixed first-graders. They are rapt; they cannot take their eyes off it. She has to remind them it's a puppet. It is fucking adorable.

Holy shit. Never have the words "clicked anyway, was not disappointed" been more appropriate, brava!

To me the joy of watching sports has never been about making bad, stupid jokes. It's about the actual sports themselves like, say, the fucking best basketball player on the planet being incredible. It's the idiot haters who suck the fun out of sports because they don't even seem to like sports very much in the first…

Can we suspend players for coming onto the field yet? At least start with the bullpen players being suspended if they come out.

I guess that makes this the first case where Windows would actually help a computer run better.

"Do you suffer from embarrassing vaginal itch at the most inopportune times?"

I've noticed there haven't been any Deadspin posts since this was published.

Not the point, but this is conclusive proof that the "friend zone" is total bullshit. Eat it, MRAs.

Agreed. But the fact that Atletico's team could have been stronger on the day doesn't mean that they actually played better than Real. That's the conclusion that I can't understand.

I'm excited for a Gaius Appuleius Diocles update!

Oh, great. Now he's breaking the unwritten rules of physics.

I'm ambivalent about Lucic.

As a hockey fan, I recognize that he's a great player. I also remember his Memorial Cup win with the Vancouver Giants.

As a Habs fan who lived over a decade in Vancouver, I hate his guts.

Still, I feel bad that he couldn't have his Stanley Cup parade in Van because he got too many death…

I was going to name my dog Ruggles (Pynchon's middle name), but then I realized that I would probably not really like him at first, then be super into him to an unhealthy level for a while, but after too much exposure realize that maybe I don't even actually like him as much as I thought I did and I'm just tolerating…

I give literally zero fucks to drivers complaining about parking tickets. Just park legally you arsehole.

Chris- I've always dug athletes who realize there's more out there than kicking the shit outta sweaty dudes (note: I *am* a big sports fan). Ken Dryden— Bill Walton— Ricky Williams— Barry Sanders.