I get laughed at every time I say this, but we try really hard not to over-promise in headlines, and for the most part don't. Sure we try to make them memorable and interesting to get people to click on them and read the content within—and use swear words, humor, irony etc.—but the general philosophy is that while…

Forget the rankings: going through the items on this list in turn and picturing the feel of each was, for some reason, really really satisfying at a tactile level.

I'm appalled that the volcano didn't immediately reject him for excessive amounts of ranch in his bloodstream. No standards any more, volcanoes today.

You, sir, are a hero.

You were forced to? I would have freely pushed him by my own volition.

At what point does a guy shooting at police on live TV stop being a "suspect"?

Lurleen. Lurleen. Lurleen. Lurrrleeeeen.
I'm begging of you please put down that pan.
Lurleen. Lurleen. Lurleen. Lurrrleeeeen.
Please don't bake it just because you can.

I'm guessing a lot of artists will be under pressure to stop, collaborate and listen to what their attorneys have to say.

Look, we all know there's only one guy who can chew a toothpick and make it look cool:

There's a weird Stockholm Syndrome thing that goes on with St. Louis style pizza, and Imo's in particular. I grew up in STL, and I've lived plenty of other places with better pizza - specifically New York and Naples (Not Chicago though, fuck deep dish. If I wanted tomato soup I'd just order fucking tomato soup). All…

I mostly like how he zooms and does ball dunks. Sometimes he throws the ball at the rim in a good and fun way. When nobody else has the ball, he has a good way of grabbing it so that he has the ball and nobody else has it. He has shoes and hands.

Minecraft will also teach them to expect money for nothing and chicks for free.

At least it's better than when the Denver Nuggets had their mascot do a reenactment of Billie Holiday's Strange Fruit.

I'm like that with cumin curry powder and Worcestershire - no restraint. Yeah smoked paprika's pretty awesome. Using it almost feels like cheating.

*applause gif*

We gotta hang out.

I do that a lot too. You can make a really nice dipping sauce for bread by "poaching" a whole bunch of garlic and red pepper flakes in good quality olive oil. It's best right off the stove but stores well.

I didn't know who he was until he was on Top Gear a few weeks back. Apparently he had never driven a car until that guest appearance, so along with his music, he's been incredibly pedestrian his whole life.

TZATZIKI DOESN'T STAIN CAST IRON AND IS ENTITLED TO BETTER SEEDING

hi its me Bill Simons. Yes I will write the sports stories. Thank you,