The fact that (at least as far as I can tell) Sanders hasn’t worn her smoky eye shadow this week tells me that Michelle Wolf won.

Michelle Wolf, leaving the WHCD:

Call me cynical, but I’m not getting excited until I hear the audio file of Trump incriminating himself, which he most certainly did.

*slams on the brakes*

One of my favorite memes is the one that says, “Someone should tell Trump that Obama can hold his breath underwater for 10 minutes.”

One more sign of Trump’s Obama obsession: “Well, if he got one, I’m going to get a BETTER one.”

As much as I’d love to be my usual self about this, I think the cold, hyperbole-less reality is even funnier as to why they’re doing this:

Obama got one. They want one too.

The actual nature behind the awarding of the prize is entirely irrelevant. This is all about wanting a trophy ‘cause the other guy got one.

Whether…

Messer, who penned the Nobel letter, also had this little tidbit to share:

Shouldn’t we wait until North Korea actually de-nukes before giving anyone a prize?

But does he have a security clearance?

“The black guy got one and he wasn’t even born here! I want one!”

I dunno, perhaps the Presidents of both North Korea and South Korea deserve this more than Generalissimo Gangrene???

Yes, sycophants... kiss the ring. Kiss that tacky, cubic zirconia, gaudy fake gold ring and stroke Donny’s ego.  

Sorry but Chris Cornell will always be the best Chris.

Team Hemsworth 100%. I’ll take anyone who argues with me to Fist City.

Thing is, Thor- Ragnarok came out after Wonder Woman, Wrinkle in Time was a disappointment a bit, Avengers was awesome, and Hemsworth is totally primed to steal Pine’s thunder when he makes another appearance alongside him as George Kirk in the next Star Trek movie.

Hemsworth is clearly ahead. Also he is a Pirate Angel.

…

In the years since Parks and Rec left the air, I’ve had to make peace with the fact that it’s Andy Dwyer I love, not Chris Pratt.

Trump reportedly plans to hire Emmet Flood, who served as Bill Clinton’s attorney

Hemsworth took that crown in November and has yet to give it up.

This is fucking offensive. Fuck you, Iowa.