My Trump, my Trump, don’t lie to me
Tell me where did you sleep last night

Love David Bowie. RIP.

why is sleeping a good thing? i want a president that has never slept, a president that doesnt need to sleep. when do Islams attack? while we are sleeping, those cowards. i want a president that can keep me safe like my dad kept me safe. he would watch me all night every night to protect me from Africans he said and…

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

“Those are not my words. There is no record of those being my words, even though there are recordings where I said those words. Okay, so maybe they are my words. So what. I will not apologize for my words. I will not stand by them either, because that’s not fair. But if I did say those words, it’s the media’s…

Member Zoids? Yea I memba Zoids!

Somebody give this guy a shoulder to cry on.

Sure, but he faceplanted the right way.

“What’s So Bad About Eating Some Cucks? The Ted Cruz Story”

-forthcoming, Fall 2016, Simon & Schuster

I was hoping to see nature take its course in the form of some duck eating. But I’ll come back next Friday. In the meantime, what a good, great set of bears we have here.

He’s already got one foot out the door.

Don’t worry, he’s just getting to character, as:

The Toxic Clevenger

I never actually played the whole Mario 64 because as a kid I realized I could buy a ps1 mod it with that stupid chip thing and buy burned copies any games for a tenth of the price. Ended up trading consoles with a kid from school for a week so I got an N64 for long enough to play just one game. I picked ocarina of…

Some say Kiante might get better with prolonged cellaring.

Sounds more like a farm-to-table MAIN event. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Farm-to-table-to-face-to-fist

Rice Makes Baylor Starchy

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

May he be the best-known Ryan Murphy.

they recently green lit it actually