I almost did. My fil brought some back from a trip and my husband ate them but my brain just wouldn't let me do it. He said it was crunchy but didn't really taste like anything but chocolate.

No sweety, you're not a pirate. You've just some bad lsd

At the very least a box of chocolate covered ants or crickets.

It sounds to me like this advisor my have been their grandmother? Grandma's always want to ruin sexy times. I don't know which daughter is which but I really love the white dress and kind of need it.

I love that song. It's been a long time since I heard it so, thanks.

Yeah, nobody wants to pay 10,000 to find out in your past life you were an accountant with 2 kids and a dog. But it's always royalty. What about something cooler, like a pirate?

Phil, I'm really sorry about this, I am. But you know I get hungry after sex. If you didn't want to be eaten then you shouldn't have come knocking on my hole with your penis without bringing a post coital snack. Like you just said to me 10 minutes ago, "This will be much easier if you stop moving around so much"

I feel like there's a really good Californian's sketch in all of this. I think everyone here expected it but it doesn't make it any less gratifying to see them lose their shit. I'd love it if she won but voting conservative here is like being an Italian and Catholic.

My eyes really hurt from the major eye roll reading that gave me

What, Lena couldn't get her umbrella technician to pack her pills? I guess that's no in their job description.

I never really got all the Elmo love when Grover is the shit.

Lady boner killed after Hulk Hogan but was then back after Henry and Armie. Jezebel gives and then takes away but then gives back what it taketh away

Buy a bottle and get a free pair of spandex bicycle shorts.

I wonder if Queen Elizabeth has the same problems?

I just wanted to say that outfit looks like it's from the Axl Rose and Right Said Fred collection. I'd call this ensemble the, Too Sexy For November Rain.

We aren't all that stupid over here. It's just that Texas is a huge state and the crazy to sane people ratio is much larger and louder. It's like your super embarrassing racist drunk relative who keeps humiliating you and you can't get them locked up.

As I read this I was thinking, "Sounds like Texas". The sad part is that I'm not even surprised by it. Zero Tolerance, bitches. Between the horror stories from friends and my own experiences here in Texas when it comes to this policy, I feel beat down. Sometimes as a parent it feels like your power has been taken…

I know. It sucks when the family jewels get all dried out and break when you touch them.

OMG, MONFONGO! My grandmother passed away 2 years ago and I love her but I also really, really, really, miss her cooking. She was old school. Pure joy was dipping our fried plantains into the monfongo. So good after a night of drinking.

Yeah, I nearly choked on my lunch when I remembered where I saw the Buster Brown hair before. They even look alike.