As a guy who is painstakingly trying to level and re-seed bald spots in my backyard right now, I’m about to cry. However, the enthusiast in me cries tears of joy. But I’m also a landlord, so we’re back to sad tears again. Cognitive Dissonance is a bitch.

As a member of society, I speak on our behalf.

Lol society failed a gifted, popular athlete with an extremely bright future and a massive multi million dollar contract? Yeah, he drew a really bad hand. If only there was something society could have done for him. More adulation, more opportunities! None of this was his fault. /s

or should I say hang on to him

I just feel sad hearing this.

Mr Gangbanger couldn’t do the time.

It’s a godawful story with absolutely no winners. Pain and suffering throughout.

Time to drop him from my keeper league, I guess.

He died doing what he loved...

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

As a Wizards fan this is at least fifteenth most depressingly hilarious thing I have seen during a basketball game

“Where can I get some of that? Asking for a friend.”

Given all the hunger and suffering in today’s world, this is nothing short of terroirism.

you don’t like Tom Brady

“If Trump is wise, he will recognize this and work toward the same.”

+2 to Nuclear Heart Disease

Ovaries. Two of ‘em can you believe it. A terminal case.

Two problems with that. One is that Hillary Clinton is not a draft dodger. The other is that while she is a hawk, she doesn’t talk like this. Yeah, she wants to get involved militarily much more often than I’d like, but she is much smarter about how she talks about it than just pulling the tough guy card.

Hillary Clinton dodged the draft? We were so progressive 50 years ago...a gender neutral draft. 

They drafted women in the 60's???