Not good news for the staff of Electoral College Gameday.

Darius Wright: They misquoted me. It was a“burning trainwreck,” but I was exaggerating. I didn’t “rescue” anyone. Shayanna Jenkins will tell you, I dropped her off back at her house after we had coffee.

This could get awkward as that nickname is usually reserved for UNC student athletes.

The highlight of my life arrived when I fired up a vid console and saw me, LT #77, right there in virtual reality. Every time one of my kids hits another milestone in their pathetic lives I have to go home, turn on my PS2, and see me, LT #77, in crystal clear virtual reality, in order to feel anything at all. My…

Feast Mode.

“Ohhhhh they’re compensated...” Jeff says with a wink. “But really, I was trying to figure out a way to make money like our fearless leader Trump. I didn’t want to be a loser. So I thought a good business idea should combine all the things you love. And I love freedom,” he say sweating. “And I love little girls.…

Cris Carter: You like to get wet?

NYC firefighters know that the Super Bowl is the place to be if you don’t want to see any jets.

He’s reportedly half-thrilled to get the chance to coach Colin Kaepernick.

And yet, his hair is arguably less absurd than that of Mark Davis, a man who should be wearing a helicopter beanie.

But enough about what Big Ben likes to get up to in public restrooms, how’s he gonna get ready for the game?

I feel like Dame, Curry, Westbrook, and Kyrie should just be grandfathered into the All-Star Game for enjoyment’s sake.

After that one movie, I’m led to believe the Force is also now Woke.

One day, I’ll fly home in my google drone copter, inject my intake port with a revitalizing shot of Gatorade nanoparticles, check my wrist display to check in on my kids, who live in orbit around Venus, and plug my neckport into the entertainment box where Abram’s head, now attached to a synthetic body that shines…

Detroit does not really support a pro football team.

Not to be outdone, Romeo Tweeted a response to Smith’s gun pic:

This is what happens when the dense get pressure.

Eli your owner and I, we love you very much. We love your throws. The way you do a quarterback. This is not your fault. When the Ownership’s new boyfriend Chad moves in, treat him like you would me. Chad is your new father now, Eli. You can visit me every other weekend.

Aww it’s not your fault Eli. It’s just that Coughlin and Mara don’t love each other anymore. But that doesn’t mean they both don’t still love you.

...thought Branch would have a big 2015.