(thanks @shbtwentythree...and Obama)

If it’s too cold they can go higher and higher into the abdominal cavity to stay the right temperature. They are creepy and amazing

My mom is an amazing woman.

Mine was thankfully only something I witnessed, but it was HORRIFYING. In middle school after leaving the dermatologist my Mom and I were at Walmart shopping for facewash. I was looking at the Neutrogena and Mom whispers in my ear “I never liked Neutrogena. It feels like cum on my face.”

Aww thanks! I’ll just shoehorn it in.... “I still consider Pluto a planet and that’s why you should never have sex without protection"

Thanks! I’m actually pretty bummed because I’m teaching earth/space science this year so no sex ed =/

I always tried to include consent in my sex ed lessons, including the idea that just because it’s your bf/gf or you’ve done it before doesn’t mean you owe anything

Maybe religious Republicans just lie more? Like Josh Duggar tells everyone his marriage is awesome buttttt he has two Ashley Madison accounts...

I hate you a little for how much that cracked me up

I mean clearly it was the girls’ fault, right? Like if they hadn’t been so temptingly sleeping in their own bedrooms Josh wouldn’t have been led astray. They should just shun those two girls and get back to the Christian lifestyle to which they are accustomed...

My friend’s friend (who I can’t stand) thinks she and her husband are really clever because they let their dog out of its carrier during the flight. Dude, follow the goddamn rules or leave your dog at home

I can only be logged in on this window for some reason. It took many tries to log in so now I refuse to close it. If I try to sign in on a different window it creates an endless feedback loop. Is that the issue you’re having?

I don’t understand why someone getting free drinks cares so much how it’s rung up?

Troy University alum?

I knit, and just because I love Jezebel so much I can hand knit anyone a cashmere sweater with a bulky feminist label for $600.00. It’s a steal 😜

No and actually ever since sewage and dead horses stopped being thrown in the lake it’s been pretty safe

Most people who have actually experienced a miscarriage say they wish more people talked about it. It really shouldn’t be a shameful thing..

I’m pretty sure this is why Vance Joy paid attention to me during his concert — I took a picture then put my goddamn phone away and enjoyed the show

If it helps, Rahm is HATED by Chicago liberals

Better than that is this Team Englewood spoken word contest entry, including “then we can give back the other half of the middle finger he’s been giving us.”