Settle a score in my office. You’re typing and realize you misspelled something. Do you…

People who love cooking are really bad at imagining there are people who don’t love cooking.

FLORIDA. There’s only one Florida and that’s the mom from Good Times. All the other Floridas are inferior to the immortal Esther Rolle.

Please take a moment to re-evaluate your take on old names vs. new names. Thank you for your service.

Beer: Zero

Speed definitely, cocaine probably, but those are rich people drugs and so they don’t count as drugs.

I actually believe Trump when he says he’s never had a drink or taken drugs. His brother died from alcoholism, after all.

So we agree that Trump has likely never smoked weed, but he’s for sure taken enough perscription pills to kill most of the race horses on Earth, right? I mean, I see him doing that and not counting it as “drugs” because it was from a doctor, or some sort of “medical person” who told him it would increase his manliness…

Think this might have something to do with it? Trump to Breitbart in 2015:

Turkey Fucks Chicken

This, in all likelihood. “Y’all Qaeda” will basically become a thing, and we’ll end up rooting it out.

As soon as the hot water and internet goes out everyone will immediately abandoned their desire for glorious violent upheaval.

In one of the calls, White House officials can be heard offering Ukraine something called “idquay opray oquay” which is completely legal because it’s in Latin, like all good legal terms.

“He’d get antsy, I’d get snappy”

This seems very stockholmy.

Yeah, this has a distinctly non-consensual feel to it. She is literally there as a requirement of her job. Kudos to her (i guess?) for being a good sport about it but it feels real yucky to watch the video of enormous men wearing face covering goggles drenching a single, totally unprotected woman with alcohol.

If there is a baseline between exuberant celebration and disturbingly degrading behavior, these videos are a slow roller toward first that might not stay in fair territory.

Kinda feels like they’ve never seen a woman before. 

while everyone else at work was putting their “pronouns” in their email signatures my buddy and I decided to have some fun with it an put ours as “dude/bro/brah.” Yeah, that didn’t last very long before complaints were made.