But like any threeway, someone’s gonna be left with holes unfilled. Only time will tell

“Has anyone actually gotten coal for Christmas?”

It fuels their delusion that under the right circumstances the celebrity might befriend them.

Co-signed.

And now I’m disappointed they didn’t ask him to fill in (or at least provide a few ZMF-esque comments) for either Oakland’s or Santa Clara’s WYTS entries.

I think I could get further in the city naked rather than in the suburbs. There’s like 30 people shot in Chicago every day, car jackings, muggings, other naked crazies furiously swinging their dick back and forth so it hits their thighs making a slapping noise, for them to worry about you. You get a somewhat crowded…

How many astronauts do you think have looked down on the planet and thought, “I’ll bet someone down there is masturbating right now”?

There’s a reason your average sportswriter becomes a bitter, cynical asshole, and not in the fun, Ratto-esque way

I expect a successful season ahead. 

Daniel Jones looks like the actor they’d cast to play Eli Manning in a movie about Peyton Manning’s life.

And not wrong about the lack of emails. Got to the last and thought “that’s it?”

The Bucs suck so blandly they aren’t even the worst run pirate-themed NFL team to have hired Jon Gruden.

I can hardly wait the next big article in two months about how much good old Jameis has grown and shown maturity in his role.

Yes please, bring back the creamcicle unis

What I always love about those stories about how committed the QBs are and how they are devoting themselves to the game is that they apply basically to every single semi-competent quarterback. It is just that with the good ones like Brady or Mahomes you don’t need to trot out those stories as everyone can just watch…

It’s also neat that he’s the first player to start a game and earn the save.

“After the O’s used nine actual, professional pitchers”

No, Mike, you can’t. But you also don’t have to turn your locker room into goddamned Arkham, either.

shut up

Gruden is so successful in failure that he’s gonna be hired by the Trump Administration pretty soon.

I legitimately laughed out loud when I saw that.