Actually-Hitler Checklist:

The most shocking part of this story is Incognito having a rudimentary understanding of fractions.

If it's a crime to shit down another man's throat, lock me up and throw away the key.

If you're over 30 and you still go by Richie, you might be an obese racist.

yo richie i'm at starbucks you want coffee yo

"I'll fight half the n**gers here."

Geez, talk about an offensive lineman, amirite?!?!

So he's only half-racist.

"The joke police? Why didn't I think of that?!" - Greg Schiano

"Maybe you shouldn't use your number as your password." ... "Maybe you shouldn't have the name of a Pixar movie villain."

Deadspin must stop protecting the identity of this bully. You protect the name of the victim, not the perpetrator.

In Schiano Russia, dirt rubs on you.

A talking horse keeps Eric Berry up late at night

Defense would have caught it before it hit the ground anyway.

I hope you have to watch as your entire family is murdered in front of you, and you can do nothing to help them.

LOLZ, JK, INTERNET JOKES AMIRITE?

I'm a Orioles fan and have a deep seated hatred towards the Red Sox, but this is completely unacceptable. Hopefully the deadspin mods will have enough decency to have your highly offensive posting removed. I know this I a comedic website but there is nothing funny about being maimed in an attack. So what if the Red…

Even better, Tim McCarver's career is over.

Your city is a toxic dump, but you're saying F Boston?

May I catch your tears and taste them?