And then he would be all "Mwf hwrff fwmfee fwmfee Mfmummuh [writing on legal pad with crayon SORRY MY MOUTH IS ALL FULL OF FORESKIN, AS USUAL]."

GUYS I KNOW AND I AM SO SO SORRY.

Too bad he's not uncircumcised, or the foreskin would be covering his STUPID FACE.

And to be fair, the State of Alabama was formed to work slaves to death.

I'M NOT WHITE YOU FOOL.

This is a great trick by many master shade throwers: the feigning of earnest concern. It's a perfect tactic, because no one wants to be the asshole accusing you of being disingenuous. You can get away with a lot of shady shit by cloaking it in genuine worry for the other person. Throw in an understanding shoulder…

Shade Court is the single greatest regular feature of Jez: the Next Generation.

I saw Insane Masturbatory Rampage open for Slayer in '92.

"What are you gonna do tonight, Stef?"

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.

Now if the countries of the EU and the United States would just stop the millenia-long exploitation, genocide, and stripmining of Africa's people and natural resources and allowed them control over their own land and to charge a fair price for goods and labor, AND united as a group, then not only would they rival the…

As someone who has lived in Alaska all her life I can assure you of the following:

Mwahaha, Texas, you so tiny! :D

In the same vein, this seldom fails to amaze me: